Computer Games are very popular in all ages and nationalities. Parents think, it has a little educational value and more harmful. Discuss your opinion with examples.

Computer
games
are becoming more advanced and complex with the rise of technology. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result, it become popular
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
children
and people of all ages as well.
However
, I personally agree with the opinion of parents at the
time
that these
games
are affecting
children
in many ways. Discussing the reasons, the most
commons
Fix the agreement mistake
common
show examples
are
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a harmful effect on
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
.
Firstly
, these
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
can be addictive to
yong
Correct your spelling
young
children
,
although
teenagers feel joy at the
time
they
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
.
This
way, the
performace
Correct your spelling
performance
in the academic study will be dropped
due to
lack of
time
.
Secondly
, spending a long period of
time
in front of the screen,
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
the eyes
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
long
Add an article
the long
a long
show examples
run as well.
As a result
, more
children
can be seen today having difficulty
to see
Change the verb form
seeing
show examples
things
clear
Change the word
clearly
show examples
.
Furthermore
, all those online
games
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
any physical activities. With the introduction of indoor
games
,
yojunhg
Correct your spelling
young
people tend to stop
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
outside and
performe
Correct your spelling
perform
performed
some of the activities with their friends,
as a result
, they
lacck
Correct your spelling
lack
of social skills and
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
physically weak.
Additionally
, it
also
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
their
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
skill to talk in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
such
as
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
or any other meeting afterward they tend to be shy and quiet.
Thus
to
wramp
Correct your spelling
wrap
show examples
up the discussion, it can be
finally
said that despite the popularity of videogames
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
youngsters, I believe that these
games
have a
Correct your spelling
negative
negtive
Correct your spelling
negative
effect on their eyes as well as academic performance
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, try providing more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention particular studies or specific cases where computer games have influenced children's behavior or educational outcome.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay is thoroughly proofread to catch and correct spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'lacck' instead of 'lack', or 'wramp' instead of 'wrap'.
coherence and cohesion
Try to provide an even balance in your paragraphs. Make sure your main points have equal weight and are elaborated evenly throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay includes a clear introduction that outlines your main point of view and a conclusion that summarizes your stance.
coherence and cohesion
The essay contains logically structured paragraphs, which makes it easier to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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