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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

#plans #show #layout #university’s #sports #centre #redevelopment
The
two
 rendered maps, which depict in great detail, illustrate the comparison between a university’s
sports
centre
 before and after renovation.
Overall
, it is clearly observable that in the present time, the university
sports
centre
 has Limited facilities,
whereas
 in future plans for the university
sports
centre
in addition
 to many
sports
 facilities
such
 as a
sports
 hall, a leisure pool, a
sports
 shop, etc. To commence with, in the former plan has existed a Gym, a pool, a reception, a seating and a changing room.
Furthermore
, In the western and eastern parts of the
sports
 complex
have existed
Wrong verb form
exist
show examples
two
 outdoor courts,
while
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
sports
centre
 will be renovated, the
sports
 complex will be developed from the east and west sides.
As a result
,
besides
 a head of facilities on the east side will be added a
sports
 hall and
two
 dance studios. On the flip side, on the west side will be added a leisure pool
as well as
 on the south will be added
two
 changing rooms, a
sports
 shop and a café.
Submitted by amirghhhhhh1999 on

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introduction conclusion present
Consider enhancing your introduction and conclusion with clearer contextual information about the maps and their respective purposes.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on ensuring all ideas are comprehensively developed and supported with specific details from the map.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific descriptions or comparisons of the facilities to ensure clarity and relevance.
complete response
The essay provides a good comparison between the existing and future sports facilities.
logical structure
There is a clear attempt to describe the changes and additions in the sports centre layout.
supported main points
The language used to describe the layout changes is varied and shows a good grasp of vocabulary.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • redevelopment
  • expansion
  • modern amenities
  • recreational activities
  • cater
  • enhancement
  • aesthetics
  • accommodate
  • upgraded
  • welcoming
  • significantly expanded
  • current layout
  • future layout
  • gym enthusiasts
  • modernized
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