Some people believe that the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others say that it is having the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Undoubtedly,Using of
technology
increases
these days.All Wrong verb form
has increased
people
from various levels use
it recently.Few Wrong verb form
have used
people
believe that,
Remove the comma
apply
technology
make
a gap between citizens from high class and low level.Change the verb form
makes
Howerever
there are many Correct your spelling
However
people
disagree
Correct pronoun usage
who disagree
wit
Correct your spelling
with
this
statement.Personally.I think technology
gathering
all the Wrong verb form
gathers
people
around the world and give
chance to many individuals to know more about poor Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
people
.This
essay will delve into the details of the given topic,along with
some carroborating
examples to support it.
To being with,Correct your spelling
corroborating
Technology
make
the world Change the verb form
makes
as
a small village.Anyone can communicate with their friends or relatives everywhere.It Change preposition
apply
make
Change the verb form
makes
people
very close from
each other.It has many advantages.Change preposition
to
Firstly
,all people
know more about poverty and places that faces
Change the verb form
face
this
issue.We find many rich people
visit different areas to help poor people
and provide a good life for them.For instance
,There is famous
show program Correct article usage
a famous
in
TV Change preposition
on
talk
about Correct pronoun usage
that talk
Omani
Correct article usage
an Omani
business man
who Correct your spelling
businessman
help
many families in many different nations.I think it is very useful because he will encourage many Change the verb form
helps
people
to follow him.Secondly
,Technology
give
poor Change the verb form
gives
people
a chance to learn from rich people
.For instance
,Knowing how those people
built their wealthy
.Replace the word
wealth
lastly
,Nowadays,Social media allow for
many young Change preposition
apply
people
to show their projects on media and many people
sport them.For example
,Snapchat.
On other
hand,Some Correct article usage
the other
people
argue that technology
making distance between poor and rich people
.There are many reasons for that.Rich people
show their happy and perfect life in
Change preposition
on
Correct article usage
the internet
internet
.In the present ,Capitalize word
Internet
people
respect only rich ones and did
not care about Wrong verb form
do
people
who need for
help.Change preposition
apply
In addition
,Devices is
very expensive so only rich Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
can by
Correct your spelling
buy
it
.I think that Correct pronoun usage
them
technology
has many benefits like give
poor Change the verb form
giving
people
opportunities to use
it for several reasons.For instance
,education,communication and business.
To sum up
,Technology
are
useful for all Change the verb form
is
people
.They should use
it in a good way and make balance.They should not influences
by bad ideas and thoughts and Wrong verb form
be influenced
use
it
only to achieve their dreams.Correct pronoun usage
them
Submitted by mrym05411 on
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task achievement
Ensure to answer all parts of the task. You've addressed both views but make your opinion clearer and more distinctively positioned. While you have given your opinion, it gets somewhat lost within the text.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into distinct paragraphs, ensuring each paragraph contains a single clear idea. The essay shows structure, but some paragraphs could have clearer separation of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to clarify the relationship between ideas within and between sentences.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument and provided personal opinion, which aligns well with the task.
task achievement
A good attempt to include examples to illustrate your points, making your arguments more tangible.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are distinct, providing a clear structure to the essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.