In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

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In few cities
start
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have started
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to change the public parks and open areas to
the
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apply
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gardens ,
let
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letting
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people
Use synonyms
can
Verb problem
apply
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grow
the
Correct article usage
apply
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food
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,
such
Linking Words
as
fruit
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and
vegetables
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. I think
this
Linking Words
idea will cause out great benefit than the disadvantages. For the first
point
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, it can be more health. The local
people
Use synonyms
can choose the positive way to grow their own
fruit
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and
vegetables
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, adding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
Replace the word
healthy
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fertiliser, like
the
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apply
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eggshell
Fix the agreement mistake
eggshells
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and
the
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apply
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great soil.
Reduse
Correct your spelling
Reduce
the worry about the
food
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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adding some bad elements for
grow
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growth
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which are selling outside.
Second
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The second
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point
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, it can be more suitable
to
Change preposition
for
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people
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.
People
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can choose to grow what kind of
the
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apply
show examples
fruit
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and
vegetables
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,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
can link to their
hobits
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habits
show examples
and favour.
Such
Linking Words
as the sports
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
can grow some
vegetables
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and
fruit
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foe
Correct your spelling
for
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making
joice
Correct your spelling
juice
and
salas
Correct your spelling
sales
Salas
, growing
strewberries
Correct your spelling
strawberries
who love
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Poeple
Correct your spelling
People
can have more
chose
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choices
show examples
ro
Correct your spelling
to
choose.
Third
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The third
show examples
point
Use synonyms
, it can earn money by
sellin
Correct your spelling
selling
the own grow
fruit
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and
vegetables
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. After the
fruit
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and
vegetables
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are
grow
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grown
show examples
, the local
people
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can sell them to each other and even the visitors.
Make
Correct your spelling
Take
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a
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an
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example from
china
Capitalize word
China
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, some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
will sell their own
grow
Verb problem
apply
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goods
at
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in
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the centre of the city,
such
Linking Words
as near the market,
those
Correct word choice
and those
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produces
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produce
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will be
more
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apply
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cheaper than the
produces
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produce
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sell
Wrong verb form
sold
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at the shopping market. And the
sell
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selling
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point
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is ' organic own grow
vegetables
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and
fruit
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'. The
last
Linking Words
point
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is local
people
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can eat
the
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apply
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fresh
friut
Correct your spelling
fruit
fruits
and
vegetables
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by getting
at
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to
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their gardens. They can get the
food
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when they want to eat.
Because sometimes
Correct word choice
Sometimes
show examples
we put the
fruit
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and
vegetables
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at home for a long time after
bougth
Correct your spelling
buying
them, the reason is ready the
food
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frist
Correct your spelling
first
for
futher
Correct your spelling
further
want to eat and can buy it. To sum
of
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up of
show examples
above points, we can see that it
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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out many advantages, are benefit
the
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apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's daily
live
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lives
show examples
. They can eat
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
fruit
Use synonyms
and
vegrtables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
which are
growing
Wrong verb form
grown
show examples
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
own, getting choosing
chose
Replace the word
choices
show examples
and healthier.
Also
Linking Words
can get the money outcome by selling their own grow goods.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on ensuring that transitions between sentences and ideas are smooth. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
In task achievement, ensure that you are fully addressing all aspects of the question. Develop each point further to show how the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
For better task achievement, focus on expanding on the disadvantages and counterarguments to provide a balanced view before concluding predominately on the benefits.
task achievement
The essay includes several distinct advantages of turning public parks into gardens for local residents.
coherence cohesion
There is an evident structure in the essay with an introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The writer provides relevant examples, such as the situation in China, to support the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban Agriculture
  • Community Engagement
  • Social Interaction
  • Physical Exercise
  • Mental Relaxation
  • Fresh Produce
  • Sustainability
  • Biodiversity
  • Carbon Footprint
  • Air Quality
  • Educational Opportunities
  • Horticulture
  • Teamwork
  • Sustainable Living
  • Food Security
  • Locally-grown
  • Nutritious
  • Neighborhood Bonds
  • Urban Sustainability
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