In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

In few cities
start
Wrong verb form
have started
show examples
to change the public parks and open areas to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gardens ,
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
people
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
grow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
,
such
as
fruit
and
vegetables
. I think
this
idea will cause out great benefit than the disadvantages. For the first
point
, it can be more health. The local
people
can choose the positive way to grow their own
fruit
and
vegetables
, adding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
fertiliser, like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
eggshell
Fix the agreement mistake
eggshells
show examples
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great soil.
Reduse
Correct your spelling
Reduce
the worry about the
food
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
adding some bad elements for
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
which are selling outside.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
point
, it can be more suitable
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
.
People
can choose to grow what kind of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fruit
and
vegetables
,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
can link to their
hobits
Correct your spelling
habits
show examples
and favour.
Such
as the sports
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
can grow some
vegetables
and
fruit
foe
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
making
joice
Correct your spelling
juice
and
salas
Correct your spelling
sales
Salas
, growing
strewberries
Correct your spelling
strawberries
who love
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Poeple
Correct your spelling
People
can have more
chose
Replace the word
choices
show examples
ro
Correct your spelling
to
choose.
Third
Change the article
The third
show examples
point
, it can earn money by
sellin
Correct your spelling
selling
the own grow
fruit
and
vegetables
. After the
fruit
and
vegetables
are
grow
Change the form of the verb
grown
show examples
, the local
people
can sell them to each other and even the visitors.
Make
Correct your spelling
Take
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
example from
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
, some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
will sell their own
grow
Verb problem
apply
show examples
goods
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the centre of the city,
such
as near the market,
those
Correct word choice
and those
show examples
produces
Change the verb form
produce
show examples
will be
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
cheaper than the
produces
Correct subject-verb agreement
produce
show examples
sell
Wrong verb form
sold
show examples
at the shopping market. And the
sell
Change the verb form
selling
show examples
point
is ' organic own grow
vegetables
and
fruit
'. The
last
point
is local
people
can eat
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
friut
Correct your spelling
fruit
fruits
and
vegetables
by getting
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
their gardens. They can get the
food
when they want to eat.
Because sometimes
Correct word choice
Sometimes
show examples
we put the
fruit
and
vegetables
at home for a long time after
bougth
Correct your spelling
buying
them, the reason is ready the
food
frist
Correct your spelling
first
for
futher
Correct your spelling
further
want to eat and can buy it. To sum
of
Change preposition
up of
show examples
above points, we can see that it
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
out many advantages, are benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
's daily
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. They can eat
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
fruit
and
vegrtables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
which are
growing
Wrong verb form
grown
show examples
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
own, getting choosing
chose
Replace the word
choices
show examples
and healthier.
Also
can get the money outcome by selling their own grow goods.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on ensuring that transitions between sentences and ideas are smooth. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
In task achievement, ensure that you are fully addressing all aspects of the question. Develop each point further to show how the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
For better task achievement, focus on expanding on the disadvantages and counterarguments to provide a balanced view before concluding predominately on the benefits.
task achievement
The essay includes several distinct advantages of turning public parks into gardens for local residents.
coherence cohesion
There is an evident structure in the essay with an introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The writer provides relevant examples, such as the situation in China, to support the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban Agriculture
  • Community Engagement
  • Social Interaction
  • Physical Exercise
  • Mental Relaxation
  • Fresh Produce
  • Sustainability
  • Biodiversity
  • Carbon Footprint
  • Air Quality
  • Educational Opportunities
  • Horticulture
  • Teamwork
  • Sustainable Living
  • Food Security
  • Locally-grown
  • Nutritious
  • Neighborhood Bonds
  • Urban Sustainability
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