Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Social
life
is an inseparable part of every individual. Recently, developing social
life
with colleagues has sparked an argument regarding whether social
life
should be banned in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
. In
this
regard,
this
essay will discuss both views and reveal my orientation towards
this
statement. It is psychologically proven that
friendship
is one of the
significanat
Correct your spelling
significant
factors that can provide a convenient environment.
On the other hand
, people can
work
efficiently in
friendly
Add an article
a friendly
show examples
atmosphere
. Considering these two facts, extending the
friendship
area to
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
atmosphere
can be useful for both employees and employers. Employees can feel less
exausted
Correct your spelling
exhausted
because
while
they are working, they can hang out with their friends.
In addition
, employees will create a constructing and comfortable
workplace
for their workers.
For example
, Google creates some social events and parties to bond its
employers
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
together.
Conversely
, opponents believe that co-workers' and friends'
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
differs
Correct subject-verb agreement
differ
show examples
in certain aspects. To put it differently,
work
connection is based on strict competition, whilst
friendship
is based on honesty and joy. In
this
regard, combining these two connections together leads to uncertainty in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
due to
joy and competition in
friendship
. In
another words
Replace the adjective
another word
other words
show examples
, people will not
work
efficiently despite the friendly
atmosphere
; or in another case, workers will be
jealouse
Correct your spelling
jealous
of their co-workers and
then
, their
friendship
will be faded. In conclusion,
friendship
, or generally social
life
, plays a critical role in people's lives.
On the other hand
, making a friendly
atomsphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
requires workers to behave friendly together; considering
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, developing
social
Add an article
a social
the social
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
in
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
atmosphere
can be a good idea.
As a result
, I believe that it can be practical to be
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
with your colleagues.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to define your thesis more clearly in the introduction. A precise thesis helps guide the reader and strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to use transition words more consistently to help the reader follow your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Some ideas could be developed further. For example, you could elaborate more on how workplace social events contribute to productivity.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay by framing the debate around workplace socialization.
task achievement
The use of examples, like Google, provides a real-world context that strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
You maintain a clear division between discussing the two perspectives, which helps in understanding both sides of the argument.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!