Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Social
life
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is an inseparable part of every individual. Recently, developing social
life
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with colleagues has sparked an argument regarding whether social
life
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should be banned in
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workplace
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the workplace
show examples
. In
this
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regard,
this
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essay will discuss both views and reveal my orientation towards
this
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statement. It is psychologically proven that
friendship
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is one of the
significanat
Correct your spelling
significant
factors that can provide a convenient environment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people can
work
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efficiently in
friendly
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a friendly
show examples
atmosphere
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. Considering these two facts, extending the
friendship
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area to
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work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
atmosphere
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can be useful for both employees and employers. Employees can feel less
exausted
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exhausted
because
while
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they are working, they can hang out with their friends.
In addition
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, employees will create a constructing and comfortable
workplace
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for their workers.
For example
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, Google creates some social events and parties to bond its
employers
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employees
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together.
Conversely
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, opponents believe that co-workers' and friends'
connection
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connections
show examples
differs
Correct subject-verb agreement
differ
show examples
in certain aspects. To put it differently,
work
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connection is based on strict competition, whilst
friendship
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is based on honesty and joy. In
this
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regard, combining these two connections together leads to uncertainty in
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workplace
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the workplace
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due to
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joy and competition in
friendship
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. In
another words
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another word
other words
show examples
, people will not
work
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efficiently despite the friendly
atmosphere
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; or in another case, workers will be
jealouse
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jealous
of their co-workers and
then
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, their
friendship
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will be faded. In conclusion,
friendship
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, or generally social
life
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, plays a critical role in people's lives.
On the other hand
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, making a friendly
atomsphere
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atmosphere
in
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workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
requires workers to behave friendly together; considering
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, developing
social
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a social
the social
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relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
in
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work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
atmosphere
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can be a good idea.
As a result
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, I believe that it can be practical to be
friend
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friends
show examples
with your colleagues.
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task achievement
Make sure to define your thesis more clearly in the introduction. A precise thesis helps guide the reader and strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to use transition words more consistently to help the reader follow your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Some ideas could be developed further. For example, you could elaborate more on how workplace social events contribute to productivity.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay by framing the debate around workplace socialization.
task achievement
The use of examples, like Google, provides a real-world context that strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
You maintain a clear division between discussing the two perspectives, which helps in understanding both sides of the argument.
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