Nowadays children play computer games for long hours. They do not play old traditional games. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think it influences children in a good or bad way?

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Today children spend far too much
time
of their day, playing computer
games
.
Instead
of playing old-fashioned
games
. There are many possible reasons for
this
such
as lack of parent’s attention towards young people and simple way of getting cheap dopamine .
Moreover
, virtual
games
are the easiest way to escape from reality
,
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and forget about daily routines and problems .By spending a huge amount of
time
they are forgetting to live a real and fulfilling life. Starting with the most obvious problem caused by overplaying virtual
games
is health issues.By spending a lot of
time
in front of the monitor ,children’s eyesight and posture will deteriorate.
Further
,
this
habit leads to some issues with socialisation and communication with people .
Conversely
,there are numerous advantages associated with playing. Video
games
can cultivate skills
such
as strategic thinking and problem-solving.
In addition
to
this
children are getting better in the IT field,which is crucial for their future. In order to avoid
this
type of problem,I believe that parental involvement in their children’s lives could enhance the situation by doing simple things
such
as
:
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having discussions on various topics or
In other words
spending
time
more efficiently.
Additionally
installing a limit on gadgets can be
also
helpful .By knowing the exact allowed
time
they would enhance their
time
management skills. Ultimately ,I strongly believe that nowadays young people are actually devoting too much
time
to
Internet
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the Internet
show examples
.
However
,
this
problem could be easily solved by aspects that I mentioned in previous paragraphs.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points; this will make your argument more persuasive and demonstrate clearer understanding.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next to improve the overall coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages of playing computer games.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear framework for the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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