Nowadays children play computer games for long hours. They do not play old traditional games. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think it influences children in a good or bad way?

#children #computer #games #hours #influences

Today children spend far too much

time

of their day, playing computer

games

Instead

of playing old-fashioned

games

. There are many possible reasons for

this

such

as lack of parent’s attention towards young people and simple way of getting cheap dopamine .

Moreover

, virtual

games

are the easiest way to escape from reality

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and forget about daily routines and problems .By spending a huge amount of

time

they are forgetting to live a real and fulfilling life. Starting with the most obvious problem caused by overplaying virtual

games

is health issues.By spending a lot of

time

in front of the monitor ,children’s eyesight and posture will deteriorate.

Further

this

habit leads to some issues with socialisation and communication with people .

Conversely

,there are numerous advantages associated with playing. Video

games

can cultivate skills

such

as strategic thinking and problem-solving.

In addition

this

children are getting better in the IT field,which is crucial for their future. In order to avoid

this

type of problem,I believe that parental involvement in their children’s lives could enhance the situation by doing simple things

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

having discussions on various topics or

In other words

spending

time

more efficiently.

Additionally

installing a limit on gadgets can be

also

helpful .By knowing the exact allowed

time

they would enhance their

time

management skills. Ultimately ,I strongly believe that nowadays young people are actually devoting too much

time

Internet

Add an article

the Internet

show examples

However

this

problem could be easily solved by aspects that I mentioned in previous paragraphs.

Submitted by pandatvin3 on Mon Nov 11 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your points; this will make your argument more persuasive and demonstrate clearer understanding.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next to improve the overall coherence.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt and provides a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages of playing computer games.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear framework for the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

243 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays children play computer games for long hours. They do not play old traditional games. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think it influences children in a good or bad way?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Other value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

Nowadays more and more people want to get things done instantly. Why is it? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

“In many societies in the world, the population is aging rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”