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Band 2.5

Some people believe that only employees who have worked at a company for a long time deserve to be promoted to a higher position. What is your opinion about this?

#people #employees #company #time #position
To get a promotion
from
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in
show examples
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
, workers do their best every single day.
This
 is given to only those individuals who deserve it. So, these days it has become a debatable issue
among
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apply
show examples
.
Thus
, a few folks assume that it should be given to long-term employees.
However
, I
am totally disagree
Change the verb form
totally disagree
show examples
 with
this
 statement
due to
 some reasonable points which will be discussed as follows.
Initially
, no doubt, labour who
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 running the firms
from
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for
show examples
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to get achievements first because their dedication is more
then
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than
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new comers
Correct your spelling
newcomers
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 or short-term workers. But, owners of companies should
looks
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look
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their
Change preposition
at their
show examples
 tasks, achievements, and feedback towards
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
. Only these skills can decide who
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 a higher position.
Secondly
, we can not ignore the experience of older staff but, some individuals are well qualified with
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
appropriate certificates and other achievements
instead
 of work experience which would increase the economy and name of the business.
Then
,
definitely
Add a comma
definitely,
show examples
 employers should give them preference.
Submitted by harmandeep51075 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly sets out the topic and your stance, ideally in a single sentence, to provide a clear roadmap for your essay.
task achievement
Develop each point with specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Clarify your arguments with more specific statements and avoid overly general language to enhance understanding.
task achievement
You clearly identify the common debate on whether promotions should be limited to long-term employees or not.
task achievement
You address the importance of both dedication and qualifications, indicating an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tenure
  • employee loyalty
  • turnover
  • commitment
  • fresh perspectives
  • innovative ideas
  • complacent
  • performance-based
  • leadership skills
  • merit
  • potential
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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