IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village lberaries, and the pie chart shows the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. Summarize the information and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village lberaries, and the pie chart shows the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. Summarize the information and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words
#line #books #four #months #village #lberaries #percentage #type #time #information #comparisons
This
 shows a line graph of the
books
 borrowed from four village libraries and a pie chart of various types of
books
 borrowed. It is clear from both given information that the most popular type of borrowed
books
 is
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Fiction topic, and the demand for
books
 has fluctuated over time.
According to
 what is shown in a line graph, the Ryeslip library had a sharp decrease in the number of borrowed
books
 (from 300 - to 170).
Then
, on the other side, there is an increase in the number of borrowed
books
 from both West Eation and Church Mount.
While
 we clearly noticed that there is a sharp fluctuation in Sutton Wood`s demand for
books
.
To sum up
, we could say that the demand for
books
 from different villages is not constant,
Moreover
, the percentages of
books
Change the noun form
book
show examples
 types are contrasting. People are more interested in fiction
books
,
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
biography
books
 come in the second level of
readers
Change noun form
readers'
reader's
show examples
 interest. In the end, the Science, Self-Help, and History topics attracted a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 percentage of readers' attention.
Submitted by sarahaldhmadi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words books with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: