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Band 6

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in China in four periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in China in four periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#men #women #education #china #four #periods #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given bar chart illustrates the amount of
students
, divided by gender studying full-time or part-time in China from 1970 to 1991. Units are measured in
Thousands
.
Overall
, in both male and female
students
 of China, part-time study was more popular than full-time.
Furthermore
, the number of
students
 studying full-time increased over the period of 21
years
 in both
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
. When examining the details, it becomes evident that
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of male
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
students
 showed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 downward trend over the
perid
Correct your spelling
period
 of time from 1000
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 to almost 900
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 by 1990/1991.
However
, the amount of men
styding
Correct your spelling
studying
styling
standing
 full-time rose over the
last
 21
years
 from approximately 100
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in 1970/1971 to almost 300
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
. In terms of female
students
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 China, the number of part-time
students
 increased by almost double over 21
years
 from just over 600
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 to almost 1200
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
.
Similarly
,
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
students
also
 surged from almost 50
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 to 200
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 over 21
years
.
Submitted by ashmamrzn on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, thousands, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Further education
  • Full-time study
  • Part-time study
  • Trends
  • Participation
  • Distribution
  • Disparities
  • Proportions
  • Growth
  • Policy changes
  • Cultural shifts
  • Gender equity
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