The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The line chart illustrates the numbers of visitors at one social centre in Melbourne Australia for different activity groups between 2000 and 2020.

Overall

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while

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participants

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for table tennis and musical shows steadily increased, the numbers for film club and martial arts fluctuated throughout the given period. Table tennis began at around 18 in 2000 and increased to 20 in 2005.

While

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the

number

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stayed the same until 2010, it almost tripled in 2020 to around 55.

Similarly

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although

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only started in 2005,

participants

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for musical performances grew to 10 in 2010 and constantly rose to just under 20 in 2020.

Although

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fluctuated, film club

participants

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continued to be the highest. After decreasing slightly from around 65 in 2000 to 60 in 2010, the

number

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went up to just around 68 in 2020.

Likewise

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, in martial arts after declining to around 30 in 2005, the

number

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went up to just under 40 in 2010.

However

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, the

number

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went down again in 2015 but grew slightly to just around 36 in 2020.

Conversely

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although

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increased slightly in 2005,

participants

Use synonyms

in amateur dramatics plummeted from just under 30 in 2005 to around 6 in 2020.

Submitted by aribawadzaki on Mon Nov 11 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, number with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 7 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "just around" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

193 words

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The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

More and more business meetings and business training have taken place on the Internet. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Some companies and organisations require their employees to wear uniforms. What are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a uniform?

Nowadays people are able to work from home thanks to technology. Some people say that this is only beneficial to employees, not employers. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.