In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree? a
Smoking is not legal in public
area
in many nations and it will be honest if Fix the agreement mistake
areas
person
who wants to Add an article
the person
a person
smoke
leaves that place. I totally agree with this
statement because it negatively impacts other people’s health and bad example for young
generation.
First of all, Correct article usage
the young
smoke
can be harmful for
people who do not even consume them in daily life. These people around Change the preposition
to
other
can get Correct pronoun usage
others
same
diseases as Correct article usage
the same
smokers
. Moreover
, smoke
of cigarettes pollutes air and water which might destroy Add an article
the smoke
health
of living organisms. Add an article
the health
For example
, secondhand smokers
usually earn
lung and heart disabilities and problems as Verb problem
have
much
often as Correct quantifier usage
apply
smokers
. That is
why creating special smoking spaces are
helpful for every citizen.
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Secondly
, this
habit influences teenagers’ lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
unfriendly
. Young residents of the world closer to Correct word choice
apply
use
and Wrong verb form
using
try
new adult things to look cool, Wrong verb form
trying
then
they will repeat it. Unfortunately, many smokers
started their own story
from Fix the agreement mistake
stories
Correct article usage
the age
age
of 13-17 and still continue using them. Fix the agreement mistake
ages
Also
it is important to keep in mind that smoking causes hard addiction at Add a comma
Also,
young
age. Add an article
a young
For instance
, my relative brothers at the moment smoke
too much due to
wrong
and terrible impact of older people in their adolescence. Correct article usage
the wrong
For
this
reason, adults must get
responsibility for their Verb problem
take
action
in front of kids and teenagers.
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
To conclude
, laws against smoking in public spaces are essential and smokers
always should leave these areas for healthy
and safe Correct article usage
the healthy
life
of others now and in the future.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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sentence structure
Work on refining sentence structures for better clarity. Some sentences were a bit awkward or unclear, affecting overall understanding.
argument depth
Consider providing more balanced views. Acknowledging and addressing potential counterarguments could strengthen your essay.
introduction
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, effectively setting up the argument for the essay.
conclusion
The essay concludes by reinforcing the main points, bringing a sense of completeness to your argument.
examples
You included relevant examples, such as secondhand smoking effects and personal anecdotes, which add value and support to your arguments.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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