IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree? a

#countries #smoke #places #people
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Smoking is not legal in public
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 in many nations and it will be honest if
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 who wants to
smoke
 leaves that place. I totally agree with
this
 statement because it negatively impacts other people’s health and bad example for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation. First of all,
smoke
 can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 people who do not even consume them in daily life. These people around
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 can get
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 diseases as
smokers
.
Moreover
,
smoke
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the smoke
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 of cigarettes pollutes air and water which might destroy
health
Add an article
the health
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 of living organisms.
For example
, secondhand
smokers
 usually
earn
Verb problem
have
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 lung and heart disabilities and problems as
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
often as
smokers
.
That is
 why creating special smoking spaces
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 helpful for every citizen.
Secondly
,
this
 habit influences teenagers’
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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unfriendly
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
. Young residents of the world closer to
use
Wrong verb form
using
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 and
try
Wrong verb form
trying
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 new adult things to look cool,
then
 they will repeat it. Unfortunately, many
smokers
 started their own
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
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 from
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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 of 13-17 and still continue using them.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 it is important to keep in mind that smoking causes hard addiction at
young
Add an article
a young
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 age.
For instance
, my relative brothers at the moment
smoke
 too much
due to
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 and terrible impact of older people in their adolescence.
For
this
 reason, adults must
get
Verb problem
take
show examples
 responsibility for their
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
 in front of kids and teenagers.
To conclude
, laws against smoking in public spaces are essential and
smokers
 always should leave these areas for
healthy
Correct article usage
the healthy
show examples
 and safe
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 of others now and in the future.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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sentence structure
Work on refining sentence structures for better clarity. Some sentences were a bit awkward or unclear, affecting overall understanding.
argument depth
Consider providing more balanced views. Acknowledging and addressing potential counterarguments could strengthen your essay.
introduction
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, effectively setting up the argument for the essay.
conclusion
The essay concludes by reinforcing the main points, bringing a sense of completeness to your argument.
examples
You included relevant examples, such as secondhand smoking effects and personal anecdotes, which add value and support to your arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • respiratory problems
  • cardiovascular disease
  • clean air
  • public health
  • hospital admissions
  • economic benefits
  • smoking cessation
  • cultural shift
  • healthcare costs
  • smoke-free laws
  • enforcement
  • designated smoking areas
  • compliance
  • social attitudes
What to do next:
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