In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree? an
Nowadays it is in habitat smoking in crowded places. If
people
want to smoke they must smoke outside the building. This
essay agrees with this
idea because smoking influences badly to not only a person’s health
and the people
he surrounds. In addition
, passive smoking is more dangerous than active smoking. Moreover
, smoking in public places can damage the environment.
Smoking in public places have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
effect
on Add an article
an effect
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
health
. I believe that consuming cigarettes
it
is harmful Correct pronoun usage
apply
for
Change the preposition
to
person’s
lungs, kidneys and whole body cycle. One day all of Correct article usage
a person’s
this
organs Correct determiner usage
these
able to
totally Wrong verb form
will be
damage
or stop working. Wrong verb form
damaged
For example
, according to
the statistics in Kazakhstan, 45% of people
are smoking cigarettes
and most of them are men. Moreover
, it is obvious that around a
half Correct article usage
apply
people
in the country have problems with lungs
.
Issues with Correct pronoun usage
their lungs
health
due to
smoking cigarettes
not
Add a missing verb
are not
only
main reason why we should ban smoking. Damaging the environment and buildings is Correct article usage
the only
also
major
problem that happens because of the fire that started when Add an article
a major
people
throw
Wrong verb form
threw
the
unextinguished Correct article usage
apply
cigarettes
. For example
, wildfires
, in dry areas, if someone throws a cigarette butt Change preposition
in wildfires
that is
not completely extinguished, it can ignite dry grass or leaves, starting a wildfire. These fires can spread quickly destroying forests, homes, and wildlife habitats.
In conclusion, smoking can impact badly for our bodies and our nature. Moreover
, cigarette butts are one of the most common types of litter, and the chemicals in them can pollute waterways and harm wildlife. So, avoiding smoking helps protect both our health
and planet
.Correct article usage
the planet
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your ideas are clear, but try to organize them even more logically. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and consider using transition words to help with this.
Task Achievement
The response covers the main points of the task well, but consider elaborating a bit more on each point to give a fuller picture of the argument you are making.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly present and wrap up your ideas, which helps the essay stay focused.
Task Achievement
You provided specific examples to support your points, which makes your argument stronger and more persuasive.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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