"Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?"

Human beings are social

creature

Fix the agreement mistake

creatures

show examples

and socializing can take several forms. These days, most

people

choose to interact using social media rather than meeting their friends in real life. Even if technology is growing rapidly, it is still important to

make

Verb problem

have

show examples

a live conversation as it gives more benefits to

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

a face-to-face conversation.

To begin

with, socializing online doesn’t involve

interaction

and direct contact with another human being.

This

kind of

relation

Replace the word

relationship

show examples

does not have a deep connection with each other, they won’t fully have a strong bond with their partner.

Although

nowadays video calls and online meetings are common things to do, it will be harder to have a deep connection without

Remove the article

apply

show examples

direct contact.

For example

people

with

long distant

Correct your spelling

long-distance

show examples

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

cannot have a

real time

Add a hyphen

real-time

show examples

meeting and they don’t have the chance to do activities together.

However

, having

relationship

Add an article

a relationship

show examples

where you can meet your partner offline means having more quality time together.

Secondly

, virtual

relation

Fix the agreement mistake

relations

show examples

can lead to self-isolation. With only online

interaction

people

will feel that they have no emotional support,

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can lead to

mental-health

Correct your spelling

mental health

show examples

issues. Online interactions are mostly done at home with their own gadget;

this

means that

people

who do virtual

interaction

will be doing everything else

such

as shopping,

watching

Correct word choice

and watching

show examples

movies alone, which can cause the person to feel lonely. Most

people

need physical

interaction

to feel supported, with only socializing online it can be hard to receive physical contact. In conclusion, as a social

being

Add a comma

being,

show examples

it is important for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

to socialize. With offline

relation

Replace the word

relationships

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

will feel more emotionally supported and will not feel

missing

Change preposition

like missing

show examples

out.

Submitted by riani.the2 on Tue Nov 12 2024

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task achievement

Strengthen your arguments by providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, mentioning statistics or studies on the effects of online socializing could enhance your task achievement.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. This can be achieved by using more transitional phrases and clear topic sentences in each paragraph.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic, clearly stating your position on the development of online socializing.

task achievement

The main points of the essay are clear and adequately articulated in relation to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

social media platforms
online interactions
virtual communication
global community
interpersonal skills
digital divide
cyberspace
virtual presence
social networking
mental wellbeing
digital literacy
safe spaces
marginalized groups
face-to-face communication
socialisation

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"Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?"

Your opinion

Some children spend a long time each day on their smartphones. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

In many countries paying for things using mobile phones (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Some people believe that manufacture and supermarkets have the responsible to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. While others argue that customer should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important while other people think that a stable job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You bought a music concert ticket. However, you are unable to go. So you want to offer the ticket to your friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: •say about the concert •say why you are unable to go •inform how your friend can receive the ticket