"Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?"

#people #socialise #face #development

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Human beings are social

creature

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creatures

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and socializing can take several forms. These days, most

people

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choose to interact using social media rather than meeting their friends in real life. Even if technology is growing rapidly, it is still important to

make

Verb problem

have

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a live conversation as it gives more benefits to

have

Wrong verb form

having

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a face-to-face conversation.

To begin

Linking Words

with, socializing online doesn’t involve

interaction

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and direct contact with another human being.

This

Linking Words

kind of

relation

Replace the word

relationship

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does not have a deep connection with each other, they won’t fully have a strong bond with their partner.

Although

Linking Words

nowadays video calls and online meetings are common things to do, it will be harder to have a deep connection without

Remove the article

apply

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direct contact.

For example

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

with

long distant

Correct your spelling

long-distance

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relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

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cannot have a

real time

Add a hyphen

real-time

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meeting and they don’t have the chance to do activities together.

However

Linking Words

, having

relationship

Add an article

a relationship

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where you can meet your partner offline means having more quality time together.

Secondly

Linking Words

, virtual

relation

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relations

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can lead to self-isolation. With only online

interaction

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people

Use synonyms

will feel that they have no emotional support,

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

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can lead to

mental-health

Correct your spelling

mental health

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issues. Online interactions are mostly done at home with their own gadget;

this

Linking Words

means that

people

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who do virtual

interaction

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will be doing everything else

such

Linking Words

as shopping,

watching

Correct word choice

and watching

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movies alone, which can cause the person to feel lonely. Most

people

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need physical

interaction

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to feel supported, with only socializing online it can be hard to receive physical contact. In conclusion, as a social

being

Add a comma

being,

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it is important for

human

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humans

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to socialize. With offline

relation

Replace the word

relationships

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human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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will feel more emotionally supported and will not feel

missing

Change preposition

like missing

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out.

Submitted by riani.the2 on Tue Nov 12 2024

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task achievement

Strengthen your arguments by providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, mentioning statistics or studies on the effects of online socializing could enhance your task achievement.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. This can be achieved by using more transitional phrases and clear topic sentences in each paragraph.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic, clearly stating your position on the development of online socializing.

task achievement

The main points of the essay are clear and adequately articulated in relation to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social media platforms
online interactions
virtual communication
global community
interpersonal skills
digital divide
cyberspace
virtual presence
social networking
mental wellbeing
digital literacy
safe spaces
marginalized groups
face-to-face communication
socialisation

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"Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?"

Your opinion

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence.What your opinions?

In many countries schools have severe problems with students behaviour.What are the causes and possile solutions for this problem.

Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

some people say that all people should stay in full time education until they are at least 18 years old . to what extent do you agree or disagree