Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit making companies. Do you think the disadvantage of private health care outweigh the advantages.

One thing
that is
important in our lives is to have excellent physical
health
to be able to work and provide for yourself or your family.
That is
why we should listen to our body and rest when we can to gain strength.
Therefore
, we need to schedule regular appointments at hospitals to check our
health
. In
this
essay, I will discuss the drawbacks and benefits managed by corporations that earn revenue for
healthcare
.  
First,
one of the major drawbacks of private medical
services
is that the quality of the care depends on individual income and financial status, leading to poorer
health
outcomes for lower-income individuals.
For example
, Mexico City has the lowest
healthcare
because the hospitals focus on high outcomes
instead
of developing their
services
.  
Second,
the desire for profit is another drawback, as it can sway judgments in ways that aren't necessarily optimal for
patients
.
For instance
, it can lead to ineffective experiments or revenue-boosting procedures.  
However
, one possible advantage of private hospitals is the element of rivalry, which can spur enhancements in the effectiveness and quality of
services
to draw in more
patients
.
For instance
, Johns Hopkins Hospital assesses employees and gives bonuses to those who offer
patients
comprehensive care through a special hospital application.
Patients
may benefit from private
health
care's flexibility and variety of options since they have access to a greater selection of doctors and treatment plans.
For instance
, offering off-hour or virtual follow-up appointments, setting up walk-in clinic hours, and incorporating online, on-demand tools for scheduling and communication.   To summarize, for both job and family life, physical
health
is vital, and frequent hospital stays are necessary. Private
healthcare
services
have disadvantages,
such
as depending on a person's income and financial situation. but can
also
boost clients, enhance service quality and efficiency, and provide flexibility and variety in treatment plans. To safeguard the
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
of its
patients
,
healthcare
institutions should generally consider these advantages.
Submitted by roof.al1418 on

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task achievement
Incorporate more varied examples beyond geographical locations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly contributes to your main argument without redundancy.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer distinction between advantages and disadvantages in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, setting a solid framework for your discussion.
task achievement
Task is mostly addressed with relevant examples and explanations, like the point about Mexico City.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure of paragraphs where each point is developed well with examples, such as Johns Hopkins Hospital.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic human need
  • medical services
  • profit-making companies
  • disadvantage
  • advantage
  • private health care
  • inequality
  • financial status
  • health outcomes
  • profit motive
  • unnecessary tests
  • administrative costs
  • public health systems
  • competition
  • service quality
  • efficiency
  • specialized services
  • flexibility
  • treatment plans
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