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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A lot of people spend a major part of their adult life at work, so job satisfaction is very important for individual happiness. What are the main factors that contribute to job satisfaction? What are the possible solutions for people who are unsatisfied with their jobs?

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Introduction
Job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is a vital aspect of adult life
due to
Linking Words
 most time spent at work. Some of the important factors contributing to
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 are a friendly environment and
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 salary.
However
Linking Words
, those who are unsatisfied with their
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
 can upgrade their knowledge and try to change their
job
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
One of the essential aspects of a satisfying
job
Use synonyms
 is a friendly environment.
That is
Linking Words
 to say that the happiness of an employee is significantly dependent on the surroundings of work, co-operation and
friendly
Correct article usage
the friendly
show examples
 nature of peers and
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
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 have a great impact on an employee being happy.
Also
Linking Words
, satisfactory wages are another factor contributing to
job
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satisfaction
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. With a good wage, an employee would be able to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their
overall
Linking Words
 needs and live the life of their dreams.
For example
Linking Words
, it can be seen that commonly teachers teaching in schools have
friendly
Correct article usage
a friendly
show examples
 nature and good earnings that
keeps
Correct subject-verb agreement
keep
show examples
 them always content.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, some positions are not satisfactory, but changing the
job
Use synonyms
 might be a good option to consider. Workers who find that they are not happy with their jobs should search for other corporations in the market.
In addition
Linking Words
, employees should try to keep themselves updated about their knowledge of their workplace which could prove
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
show examples
 a great opportunity for them to upgrade their
job
Use synonyms
 title that can make things better.
For instance
Linking Words
, a bank clerk should acknowledge education related to higher positions
such
Linking Words
 as executives and managers that could allow higher
satisfaction
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 conditions and sufficient salary are essential factors when it comes to
employee’s
Change noun form
employee
show examples
 joyfulness, but those who are unhappy with their jobs should take a chance to change
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and continue to prosper in
skill related
Add a hyphen
skill-related
show examples
 knowledge.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on how upgrading knowledge or changing jobs can systematically be achieved, possibly including steps, challenges, and practical approaches individuals might face.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main idea has strong logical reasoning and is well-supported with examples or further explanation. For instance, link the idea of friendly work environment more explicitly to how it affects job performance or worldview.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and a concise conclusion, effectively summarizing the main points discussed.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the situation of teachers and bank clerks, help in illustrating key points, making the argument more relatable and concrete.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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