Some believe that secondary school children should study international news like other subjects in school, while others believe that this is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
, various sectors in the whole
world
Use synonyms
have been developed in positive ways so quickly
in
Change preposition
over
show examples
years, specifically in technology. These bring an assumption that as a human, we have to expand our sight to see what happened in
Use synonyms
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
today. Some people believe that it must
be begin
Change the verb form
begin
show examples
at a very young age, particularly for secondary
school
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
. On the opposite, those believe that it
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
unnecessary
Correct article usage
an unnecessary
show examples
thing and
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
However
Linking Words
, in my
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
must be prepared to face the real
world
Use synonyms
by having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong mental, critical thinking, open mind and
wise
Correct article usage
a wise
show examples
perspective about the real
world
Use synonyms
, which they can learn from international
news
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
highly agree that international
news
Use synonyms
could be taught by
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
equally as other subjects in
school
Use synonyms
. International
news
Use synonyms
will give life lessons to secondary
school
Use synonyms
kids about how the advancement in
such
Linking Words
various vectors in the
world
Use synonyms
happened.
For instance
Linking Words
, the advancement of technology, particularly in artificial
intellegent
Correct your spelling
intelligence
intelligent
, has
gain
Change the verb form
gained
show examples
so much attention from various industries
such
Linking Words
as computer,
space craft
Correct your spelling
spacecraft
show examples
, automotive, household machines and even robotic industries.
This
Linking Words
will open
Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
to have big dreams,
either
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
they want to become an engineer, professor or
astronouts
Correct your spelling
astronauts
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other side, various
news
Use synonyms
can build them to have a strong mental, critical thinking and wise
perspecitve
Correct your spelling
perspective
in facing the
world
Use synonyms
.
Second,
Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
understand that
Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
will not
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fully
catching
Wrong verb form
catch
show examples
the main
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
of learning international
news
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
teacher assistance, they will guide students in the right way to achieve the
impactfull
Correct your spelling
impactful
result.
For example
Linking Words
, for crime international
news
Use synonyms
,
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
must be guided
Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
to not
be feel
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
scared about the
world
Use synonyms
.
Instead
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
must build their
self awareness
Add a hyphen
self-awareness
show examples
about other
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not treat them
bad
Change the word
badly
show examples
.
Use synonyms
Childern
Correct your spelling
Children
must have a good attitude
to
Change preposition
toward
show examples
everyone. I believe that by adding
this
Linking Words
lesson as
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
subject at secondary
sechool
Correct your spelling
school
, it
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
replace other important subjects
such
Linking Words
as math, physics, science, history, geography
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc.
although
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
can
be add
Change the verb form
be added
show examples
as
additional
Add an article
an additional
show examples
subject for parents who agree with the idea. In conclusion, I believe that we can
got
Change the verb form
get
show examples
a lot of life lessons by learning international
news
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Childern
Correct your spelling
Children
in secondary
school
Use synonyms
will have an
opened
Replace the word
open
show examples
mind to face the real
world
Use synonyms
when they grow up.
Submitted by putri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your arguments clearly and logically. Try to develop each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, supported examples, and a concluding sentence to improve coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that each viewpoint is discussed with equal depth and clarity to show a balanced understanding of the prompt. This will enhance the overall task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to better express your ideas. This can significantly enhance clarity and engagement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which are linked to the topic of the essay.
task achievement
You provided an example of technological advancement, which supports your argument about the benefits of children learning international news.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: