The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart provides data on the
number
Use synonyms
of participants for different co-curricular activities at a single social centre in Melbourne, Australia from 2000 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, film club was the most popular activity throughout the timeline
while
Linking Words
the
number
Use synonyms
of amateur dramatics fell quite a bit
at the end
Linking Words
of 2020.
Also
Linking Words
, a good
number
Use synonyms
of participants showed their interest in the musical performances in the modern era
while
Linking Words
attending martial arts and table tennis classes had their own popularity.
Firstly
Linking Words
, most of the participants showed their interest in the film club which was more than 60 in the beginning, a gradual decline
then
Linking Words
happened and
finally
Linking Words
the film club got almost 65 students in 2020 which was the highest among all activities during the timeline.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
of table tennis aspirants was shy of 20 in 2000 which had a rapid surge in 2010 and by the end of 2020, it touched the mark of close to 60.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
of amateur dramatics was less than 30 in 2000 which had a slight growth until a dramatic fall made the
number
Use synonyms
5 in 2020.
Also
Linking Words
, about 35 students started the martial
art
Fix the agreement mistake
arts
show examples
activity in the beginning and the
number
Use synonyms
was the same after some ups and downs in the graph.
Lastly
Linking Words
, after a gradual growth, around 20 students joined the musical performances department by 2020 though the
number
Use synonyms
was 0 till 2005.
Submitted by jisan.path1506605 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: