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Band 5.5

Many people believe that the bicycle is a healthy and environmentally friendly mode of transport. However, it is no longer the main form of transport.  What are the reasons?  What could be done to encourage the use of bicycles among the wider population? (2021.4.10)

#people #bicycle #mode #transport #form #bicycles #population
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In recent years, it is quite common that
Bicycles
 are no longer the main form of transportation. In the essay, I will give the possible reasons and solutions. One main reason is an alternative enhancement, With the improvement of living standards and personal income,
people
 begin to seek more convenient and comfortable ways to travel.
Bicycles
 are an affordable option, but as incomes rise and many
people
 start to buy cars, the existence of
bicycles
 is gradually ignored.
Besides
 that have security issues, Because of the lack of safe parking facilities in some workplaces.
In particular
,
bicycles
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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easily to collisions in crowded environments. Because city roads are complex, many
people
 will choose
other traffic form
Change the wording
another traffic form
other traffic forms
show examples
.
In addition
, Weather conditions
also
 affect
people
's travel choices. Riding in hot weather can make
people
 feel stuffy, winter can make
people
 feel cold, and seasonal changes make riding difficult. There are some measures to encourage
people
 to use
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
bicycles
a bicycle
show examples
bicycles
. To be more specific, We can strengthen publicity and education, and promote the benefits of cycling through various media to raise
people
's awareness,
such
 as energy saving and environmental protection and easing traffic congestion. At the same time,
More
Fix capitalization
more
show examples
 dedicated bike lanes can be built to ensure the safety of cycling. In conclusion, the reason why
Bicycles
 are not the main form of transportation is that an alternative enhancement,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 security issues and weather conditions. Even though the phenomenon is very common, we can take some action to address it,
such
 as
strengthen
Wrong verb form
strengthening
show examples
 publicity and education and dedicated bike lanes.
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider providing more specific examples and statistics to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific cities that have effectively increased bicycle use or statistics regarding environmental benefits.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Use more linking devices and transitional phrases to guide the reader through your essay smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively present the main points and summarize the essay, contributing positively to structure.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both reasons for the decline in bicycle use and possible solutions, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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