More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes , cars and other products . What are the reasons ? Do you think this is a positive or negative outcome ?

#people #brands #clothes #cars #products #outcome

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•Nowadays all young children and adults prefer to buy vehicles and clothes

such

Linking Words

as Tesla and Adidas and no one likes to object to it . The reason is that many individuals earn a lot of money and they prefer to show off their power . In many experiences , there are many negative trends , which we will discuss in the next paragraph . •

To begin

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with a negative trend, technology is improving day by day and

today's

Change preposition

in today's

show examples

modern era is not easy to find a good task without a good qualification.To explain, these days all residents are developing all these clothes and other things, humans want to keep up with the times.

For example

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, South African governments

due to

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their poverty, fall into the shops and medicine rooms of their city, and they leave the city, and

then

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no one looks for them. It would be better if people donated their money to the needy

instead

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of investing it in unnecessary clothes. •To commence with the positive side, all new students want to buy brand new suits and when people are working in a multinational company they will succeed in their life and their salaries will not countable.

In other words

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, Amazon jobs are the greatest now on our planet because

this

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company will provide their workers with brand new cars free of cost but their job is not easy to accept.

For instance

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, in the UK all the workers are paid very much, and

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

them to perform

accordingly

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, after receiving a good salary they will effort into everything on

this

Linking Words

earth. Good

wears

Fix the agreement mistake

wear

show examples

will be

Correct article usage

a dreams

show examples

dreams

Fix the agreement mistake

dream

show examples

for every person and hard work will be the key to branded products. •In conclusion, helping

Change preposition

apply

show examples

poor individuals will be

responsibility

Add an article

the responsibility

show examples

of every citizen and

this

Linking Words

good

Add a missing verb

is good

show examples

for the care of their region.

Moreover

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, brand products are not cheap because these days

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

cost very expensive but it is affordable for everyone when earning good money.

Submitted by Who is the best? on Wed Nov 13 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Try to explicitly state your main points in the introduction and ensure they are clearly developed in the body paragraphs. This will help the reader understand your argument from the start.

Task Achievement

Aim to develop each idea fully, using detailed examples and reasoning. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Task Achievement

You have included both positive and negative outcomes, showing a balanced approach to the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

5.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

5.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

5.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes , cars and other products . What are the reasons ? Do you think this is a positive or negative outcome ?

Your opinion

Some people say that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?