More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes , cars and other products . What are the reasons ? Do you think this is a positive or negative outcome ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
•Nowadays all young children and adults prefer to buy vehicles and clothes
such
Linking Words
as Tesla and Adidas and no one likes to object to it . The reason is that many individuals earn a lot of money and they prefer to show off their power . In many experiences , there are many negative trends , which we will discuss in the next paragraph .  •
To begin
Linking Words
with a negative trend, technology is improving day by day and
today's
Change preposition
in today's
show examples
modern era is not easy to find a good task without a good qualification.To explain, these days all residents are developing all these clothes and other things, humans want to keep up with the times.
For example
Linking Words
, South African governments
due to
Linking Words
their poverty, fall into the shops and medicine rooms of their city, and they leave the city, and
then
Linking Words
no one looks for them. It would be better if people donated their money to the needy
instead
Linking Words
of investing it in unnecessary clothes. •To commence with the positive side, all new students want to buy brand new suits and when people are working in a multinational company they will succeed in their life and their salaries will not countable.
In other words
Linking Words
, Amazon jobs are the greatest now on our planet because
this
Linking Words
company will provide their workers with brand new cars free of cost but their job is not easy to accept.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the UK all the workers are paid very much, and
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
them to perform
accordingly
Linking Words
, after receiving a good salary they will effort into everything on
this
Linking Words
earth. Good
wears
Fix the agreement mistake
wear
show examples
will be
Correct article usage
a dreams
show examples
dreams
Fix the agreement mistake
dream
show examples
for every person and hard work will be the key to branded products.  •In conclusion, helping
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poor individuals will be
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
of every citizen and
this
Linking Words
good
Add a missing verb
is good
show examples
for the care of their region.
Moreover
Linking Words
, brand products are not cheap because these days
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
cost very expensive but it is affordable for everyone when earning good money.
Submitted by Who is the best? on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Try to explicitly state your main points in the introduction and ensure they are clearly developed in the body paragraphs. This will help the reader understand your argument from the start.
Task Achievement
Aim to develop each idea fully, using detailed examples and reasoning. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Task Achievement
You have included both positive and negative outcomes, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: