IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

***In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.***

#***in #countries #people #salaries #country #governments #level
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Social concerns about the impact lead to the
nation by
Change preposition
nation's
show examples
 disproportionate distribution of income
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been widely discussed. One party believes the merits are profound
while
 others
disagrees
Change the verb form
disagree
show examples
,
However
,
this
 essay is to illustrate both sides distinctively and
weighing
Wrong verb form
weigh
show examples
 their pros and cons respectively. On the one hand,
government
inverventions
Correct your spelling
interventions
intervention
 can make a better allocation of money to where it is needed the most.
For instance
, people with higher
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of income
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to place their
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 as
priority
Correct article usage
a priority
show examples
,
such
 profit aim motivation often
fail
Correct subject-verb agreement
fails
show examples
 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 social needs by
withhold
Wrong verb form
withholding
show examples
 funding
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 health care, education and infrastructure.
Instead
, vast money is likely put into investment
of
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in
show examples
 real estate, land, and manufacturing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
. In
contrary
Correct your spelling
contrast
show examples
,
government
 intervention by cutting
salaries
Correct article usage
the salaries
show examples
 of
upper
Add an article
the upper
show examples
 class would lead
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
muchg
Correct your spelling
much
 effective and positive resource allocation
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
poll and
data base
Correct your spelling
database
show examples
 collections.
On the other hand
,
government
 interference by raising taxes and setting salary ceilings could
disencourage
Correct your spelling
discourage
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 by depressing investors and
start ups
Add a hyphen
start-ups
show examples
.
For instance
, a cut in income of minority successful individuals would be disappointing to
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 who
willing
Add a missing verb
are willing
show examples
 to establish a business or
start ups
Add a hyphen
start-ups
show examples
.
Moreover
, a reduction in salaries would fail members
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
upper
Add an article
the upper
show examples
 class who had made enormous
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
show examples
 to the country
attributes
Replace the word
attributed
show examples
 to a lower inclination of investments
further
leads
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to economic
resession
Correct your spelling
recession
. In conclusion,
despites
Correct your spelling
despite
show examples
 the disadvantages
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
might
Correct pronoun usage
that might
show examples
 bring by
third party
Add a hyphen
third-party
show examples
 interference, a comfortable social security guaranteed by
government
 policy to a better allocation of money should be put in absolute priority.
Submitted by 2912241348 on

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task achievement
Develop more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Clarify the ideas by avoiding overly general statements.
coherence cohesion
Include clearer transitions between paragraphs to enhance the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
The introduction presents the topic clearly and outlines the essay's structure.
task achievement
A balanced view is attempted by discussing both perspectives of the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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