IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Logging of the rain forests is a serious problem and it may lead to the extiction of animal life and human life. Do you agree or disagree?

#rain #forests #extiction #life
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The
forests
 a good for humans and animals because
this
 is very big
oxygen
resources
 for all living things. The rain
forests
 are not easy they develop very slowly. Perhaps the formation of the current rainforest began thousands of years ago. We do not know exactly maybe we can look at it by taking samples from the trees but it is not true just tells one possibility. We do not understand the importance of
forests
 for us. If we understand we do not
logging
Change the verb form
log
show examples
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
 the
rainforestsforests
Correct your spelling
rainforests
. These
rain
Correct your spelling
rainforests
show examples
forests
 are the habitat of many animals. A major source of
oxygen
 for humans. If we cut down rainforests as unimportant we will destroy our
oxygen
resources
.
This
oxygen
 is vital for humans. If there is not enough quality
oxygen
 we will sick and die more easily. I do not agree with the destruction of
forests
 for heating needs. In my opinion, underground
resources
 are sufficient for
this
.
For example
, we have enough fossil
resources
 for natural gas. Scientists are doing great work for sustainable
energy
.
For example
, we can produce electricity with solar
energy
.
This
 electrical
energy
 can be used for heating. Solar
energy
 or wind
energy
 can be used more actively and effectively. Stoves or wood heating systems should be completely abolished and those who use them should be penalized. People should be encouraged to meet their heating needs with renewable
energy
. Renewable energies should be cheaper. The government should work and campaign for
this
.
Submitted by kubrairmak287 on

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task response
To improve task response, include more specific examples and details that would further support your argument. Try to elaborate more on how the destruction of rainforests directly impacts various animal species and human life. This would help in providing a stronger basis for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and comprehension by structuring your ideas more cohesively. For instance, linking the points about renewable energy back to the main argument regarding deforestation could provide a more coherent structure.
coherence cohesion
Expand your introduction a bit more to include a general overview of the problem before stating your position. Also, consider summarizing the key points discussed in the conclusion to reinforce your stance.
task response
The essay provides a clear stance by disagreeing with the destruction of rainforests and suggests alternatives such as using renewable energy sources.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion were clearly present, setting the stage for your argument and then wrapping it up effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • sustainable
  • ecosystem
  • carbon emissions
  • indigenous communities
  • sustainable forest management
  • desertification
  • ecological balance
  • water cycle
  • carbon dioxide absorption
  • habitat destruction
  • environmental degradation
  • climate change impact
  • economic losses
What to do next:
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