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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Logging of the rain forests is a serious problem and it may lead to the extiction of animal life and human life. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
The
forests
Use synonyms
 a good for humans and animals because
this
Linking Words
 is very big
oxygen
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resources
Use synonyms
 for all living things.
Body paragraph 1
The rain
forests
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 are not easy they develop very slowly. Perhaps the formation of the current rainforest began thousands of years ago. We do not know exactly maybe we can look at it by taking samples from the trees but it is not true just tells one possibility. We do not understand the importance of
forests
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 for us. If we understand we do not
logging
Change the verb form
log
show examples
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
 the
rainforestsforests
Correct your spelling
rainforests
.
Body paragraph 2
These
rain
Correct your spelling
rainforests
show examples
forests
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 are the habitat of many animals. A major source of
oxygen
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 for humans. If we cut down rainforests as unimportant we will destroy our
oxygen
Use synonyms
resources
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 3
This
Linking Words
oxygen
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 is vital for humans. If there is not enough quality
oxygen
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 we will sick and die more easily.
Body paragraph 4
I do not agree with the destruction of
forests
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 for heating needs. In my opinion, underground
resources
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 are sufficient for
this
Linking Words
.
For example
Linking Words
, we have enough fossil
resources
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 for natural gas.
Body paragraph 5
Scientists are doing great work for sustainable
energy
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.
For example
Linking Words
, we can produce electricity with solar
energy
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.
This
Linking Words
 electrical
energy
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 can be used for heating.
Body paragraph 6
Solar
energy
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 or wind
energy
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 can be used more actively and effectively.
Body paragraph 7
Stoves or wood heating systems should be completely abolished and those who use them should be penalized.
Conclusion
People should be encouraged to meet their heating needs with renewable
energy
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. Renewable energies should be cheaper. The government should work and campaign for
this
Linking Words
.

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task response
To improve task response, include more specific examples and details that would further support your argument. Try to elaborate more on how the destruction of rainforests directly impacts various animal species and human life. This would help in providing a stronger basis for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and comprehension by structuring your ideas more cohesively. For instance, linking the points about renewable energy back to the main argument regarding deforestation could provide a more coherent structure.
coherence cohesion
Expand your introduction a bit more to include a general overview of the problem before stating your position. Also, consider summarizing the key points discussed in the conclusion to reinforce your stance.
task response
The essay provides a clear stance by disagreeing with the destruction of rainforests and suggests alternatives such as using renewable energy sources.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion were clearly present, setting the stage for your argument and then wrapping it up effectively.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • sustainable
  • ecosystem
  • carbon emissions
  • indigenous communities
  • sustainable forest management
  • desertification
  • ecological balance
  • water cycle
  • carbon dioxide absorption
  • habitat destruction
  • environmental degradation
  • climate change impact
  • economic losses
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