IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below gives information about international migration to the UK , 1999-2008

The graph below gives information about international migration to the UK , 1999-2008
The
given
Verb problem
apply
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chart gives information about UK
immigration
Use synonyms
,
emigration
Use synonyms
, and net
migration
Use synonyms
 between 1999 to 2002. Units are measured in thousands.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that figures for both
immigration
Use synonyms
 and
emigration
Use synonyms
 underwent a substantial increase in the number of people,
while
Linking Words
 internet
migration
Use synonyms
 oscillated throughout the entire period. In 1999, over 450,000 people immigrated to the UK,
while
Linking Words
 around 300,000 left. Net
migration
Use synonyms
 was approximately 150,000. By 2004,
immigration
Use synonyms
 rose by almost 150,000,
while
Linking Words
emigration
Use synonyms
 showed a smaller increase. Net
migration
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, reached a peak of nearly 250,000. From 2005 onward,
immigration
Use synonyms
 rates remained high, though
emigration
Use synonyms
 figures fluctuated. In 2007,
immigration
Use synonyms
 fell sharply but rebounded to around 420,000 in 2008.
Consequently
Linking Words
, net
migration
Use synonyms
 peaked at about 240,000 in 2007 before dropping back to nearly 150,000 in 2008.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words immigration, emigration, migration with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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