Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Some people would say that
companies
and people should pay environmental fees
as
Change preposition
for as
show examples
much pollution as they have produced. I agree with some
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of
this
statement because everyone should take
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
.
However
, I don't think money can solve
this
problem.  I believe there are other methods to tackle
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
challenges.
First,
governments' intervention is crucial. The only power, which can control big
companies
, are
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
. They can give either advantages or disadvantages depending on what
companies
do.
For instance
, for those that produce less pollution or take actions to save the planet, we can reduce their tax. If they can get that kind of benefit, they might try to be eco-friendly.
Secondly
, from
companies
Replace the word
a company's
show examples
perspectives
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
show examples
, caring about our future can be more beneficial in the long term. In the first place, they might assume that being
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
organizations
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organization
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is not profitable.
However
, it will affect consumers' perception, which can potentially lead them to buy their products more.
Finally
, It seems unrealistic to check how much waste each household
produce
Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
show examples
.
Also
,
for example
, it is very vague to decide how exactly using plastics
harm
Correct subject-verb agreement
harms
show examples
our ecology.
Instead
, to prevent
this
, we need to have a better education system. Simply being aware of what would happen can actually make people use less harmful containers. In conclusion, money can be an effective way to break through
this
challenge.
On the other hand
, suggesting positive alternatives is better than just fining
companies
or individuals.
Submitted by dob.jeong on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, but try to balance your arguments more effectively, perhaps by addressing both the positive and negative aspects.
task achievement
While your points are generally clear, consider reinforcing your arguments with more specific examples to add depth to your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows naturally into the next, linking ideas more consistently. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt with a structured approach to addressing the given topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, presenting a clear stance and summarizing your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with distinct paragraphs that address specific aspects of the question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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