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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtade- labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summsrise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtade- labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summsrise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
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The provided tables depict data on how much
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of coffee and bananas increased or decreased in 5 different countries between 1999 and 2004
years
.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that
value
Correct article usage
the value
show examples
 of coffee in the UK significantly increased from 1999 to 2004 and became dominant
the
Change preposition
over the
show examples
 given time span.
Conversely
Add a comma
Conversely,
show examples
this
 figure in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sweden
 remained almost unchanged during
this
 period,
while
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
 in
Sweden
, nearly triple increased in the time span, and
this
 trend was dominant during
this
 period;
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
this
 figure in Denmark almost
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
 declined in 1999 and 2004
years
. As regards to rate of coffee in the UK rapidly rose from 1.5
million
 to 20
million
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
decades
Fix the agreement mistake
decade
show examples
.
Besides
,
statistics
Correct article usage
the statistics
show examples
 of Denmark and
Sweden
 slightly increased by 0.2
million
.
Moreover
, statistics of Switzerland experienced
double
Correct article usage
a double
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in the 5
years
.
Whereas
,
this
 trend in Belgium
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 rose slightly by 0.7
million
 by 2004. Turning to the price of
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
 in
Sweden
, experienced
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 between 1999 and 2004 and became dominant in
this
 period.
However
, statistics
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the UK and Belgium sharply increased almost by 5000000 during the 5
years
.
Additionally
,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
 in
Sweden
 and Denmark experienced fractionaly
fallen
Wrong verb form
falling
show examples
 from 1.8-1 to 2-0.9
million
 between 1999 and 2004.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, sweden, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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