IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Write about the following topic: Nowadays famous people are photographed by professional photographers everywhere they go. Some people say this is a good thing because the public are interested in their lives. Other people think that photographers are wrong to follow famous people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #people #photographers #lives
In recent years, there has been a significant debate over
photography
 of famous
people
’s
lives
.
However
, on the one hand, some
people
 argue that
photography
 of famous
people
’s
lives
 is a good thing because they have a significant interest in famous
people
’s
lives
.
On the other hand
, others contend that the photographers are wrong. In
this
 essay, I will examine both perspectives, and I will argue that
while
photography
 of living famous persons has indeed brought some challenges. To commence with, a substantial number of
people
 believe that the
photography
 of famous
people
 is a positive act of the photographer. In their view, the widespread phenomenon of famous
people
 contributes significantly to improving their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
particularly about governments and politicians.
For instance
, in
Denmark
Add a comma
Denmark,
show examples
photography
 of the personal life of politicians
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 serves as a powerful means to avoid crime and criminals.
On the contrary
, there are compelling arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the view that the
photography
 of famous persons is a negative activity of photographers. In their opinion, it serves as a foundation for stress in the personal and business
lives
 of famous
people
.
For example
, researchers in Finland found that extensive
photography
 of football players has led to significant damage to their performance. In my opinion,
while
 it is undeniable that
photography
 of famous
people
 has introduced some challenges, it plays an absolutely vital role in news, social networks, media and
also
 in the
lives
 of famous
people
’s fans. In conclusion,
while
 it is undeniable that
photography
 of famous
people
’s
lives
 can have an adverse effect on famous
people
’s
lives
 and present some challenges, I believe that its
overall
 impact has been
significant
Change the adjective
significantly
show examples
 positive.
Therefore’
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
 the government should implement some policies to improve the positive impacts of
photography
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 famous
people
’s
lives
.
Submitted by jingelbing on

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task achievement
Ensure to clarify and elaborate more on your main points and examples. This will help in making your arguments more convincing and cohesive.
coherence and cohesion
Use more transition phrases and linking words to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main arguments to be discussed.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and gives a personal opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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