IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #governments #access #people’s #phone #records #messages #safety #information #permission
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Some
people
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 think that higher authorities should be aware of every conversation happening through smart devices for
the
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security reasons,
while
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 others claim that,
this
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 is personal information and
people
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 should not have access to
this
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 without consent.I will discuss both views
further
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 with relevant examples. The foremost reason, why the governments should have access to the mobile phones of their citizens is that
,
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 they can prevent any major incident and protect the innocent public from getting harmed by the criminals and their activities .
Furthermore
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, by tracking the call records, police can easily catch the culprits.
Moreover
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, the location of the lawbreakers becomes easier with the help of smartphones.
For instance
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, a group of criminals were caught by the police, based on their conversation, in which they were planning to attack the railway station, and many precious lives were saved from
this
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 incident.
On the contrary
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, other
people
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 claim that
,
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 hackers can hack the information from the systems of
the
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law enforcement agencies and can leak the personal information of the public.
In addition
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, they can easily blackmail
people
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 based on their private data. To illus, an article was published in the newspaper, claiming that some hackers, hacked the data installed in the computers of the higher agencies, and started blackmailing the local public, based on the call recordings and the text messages, they recovered from the data.
To conclude
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, both
the
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views have valid points,
however
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, in my opinion, I think the governments should have
the
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access to their citizens' phones to protect them from criminal-minded
people
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 and provide them with a safe environment.
Submitted by dr.tehreemk on

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introduction conclusion
Ensure a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction to outline the writer's position on the topic.
supported main points
Develop the main points with more detailed examples and explanations to enhance clarity and depth.
logical structure
Avoid abrupt transitions between ideas; aim for smooth and logical connections between paragraphs.
complete response
Provides a balanced discussion addressing both sides of the issue, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer's stance, reinforcing the argument presented throughout the essay.
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