Caring of children is believed to be an essential job in any society, because every human should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents to some extent. I agree with this opinion

#children #job #society #course #parents

Caring for children is believed to be an essential job in any

society

because every human should be required to take a

course

that prepares them to be good

parents

to some extent. I agree with

this

opinion. On the one hand, there are two important reasons why I agree with those who think all males and females attend a

course

for

well-being

Correct article usage

the well-being

show examples

parents

Change preposition

of parents

show examples

. First of all, we are living digital technology century.

Also

, some

parents

are very careless to family and children day by day.

For instance

, if a child's mother and dad are addicted to smartphones and other internet websites,

Correct article usage

the

show examples

child doesn't know about traditional culture and science subjects.

As a result

, our

society

faces

apply

Change the verb form

applying

show examples

poverty.

Moreover

, it's

also

worth mentioning that if our government organize a

course

that prepares them to be good

parents

, our posterities will build a powerful lifestyle.

On the other hand

, certain cases need to be taken into account. Admittedly,

parents

don't need to attend a

course

to be good fathers or mothers because they have got their

parents

. Grandmothers

are play

Change the verb form

play

show examples

a vital role in discipline in our

society

. They are able to learn more information.

For example

, grandmothers teach their children and grandchildren about various life lessons.

As a result

, they will become a mature young family in our

society

. Not only

society

but

also

our future lifestyle. In conclusion, I have mixed opinions about the discussed topic and certain cases could be true for different circumstances.

That is

why holding a firm opinion about it is more difficult than it seems and balance should be the priority in my view.

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coherence cohesion

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task achievement

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coherence cohesion

Include a clearer distinction between opposing arguments to enhance the discussion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, which helps frame your essay well.

task achievement

You addressed both sides of the argument, demonstrating an awareness of the complexity of the topic.

task achievement

The essay shows an understanding of the topic and provides thoughtful insights.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Caring of children is believed to be an essential job in any society, because every human should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents to some extent. I agree with this opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.

Some believe that more young people hold the important positions in government, while others believe that the young people should not. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion with relevant examples.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?