Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #job #society #mothers #fathers #course #parents

Taking ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

bring up,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

courses

are

essentiall

Correct your spelling

essential

for

parents

, who want to be great genitors.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

these

courses

can improve parenting skills, it would be financially difficult for some families. There are some reasons, that

parents

have to take a course, but the main reason is that it can prepare

parents

for each developmental stage.They will know, how to get started with different problems and they will have

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

conflicts than

parents

who did not want to go there.

Also

,scientists proved that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

parents

who had a bringing up

courses

have a good relationship with their

children

There for

Correct your spelling

Therefore

show examples

, some genitors feel they must study in

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

courses

for being

Change preposition

to be

show examples

the best

parents

However

, there are some reasons, that

parents

should not take

this

one,

such

as financial issues, personal experience and impractical

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

. The main reason is

impractical

Add an article

an impractical

show examples

solution. Some

parents

believe that ,in

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

courses

tough not very good and effective solution. If

parents

implement the techniques learned in parenting

courses

, there is a possibility that they may inadvertently exacerbate the situation.

For example

their

Correct word choice

if their

show examples

children

had a problem in a school with marks, they started to calm down and say that the grades are not important, but

then

the

children

, hearing that the grades are not important, can simply quit studying.

Thus

, the majority of

parents

prefer to bring up their

children

with themselves without any type of

courses

. In conclusion, l can say that, taking ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

bring up,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

courses

Change the verb form

are

show examples

nesseary

Correct your spelling

necessary

for

parents

who do not know, how to care for

children

and those who want to become like friends and have a good relationship with their

children

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Thu Nov 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which is essential for structuring your response well.

task achievement

You have identified opposing perspectives on the topic, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In their advertising businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this, do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agreee or disagree?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree. You should write at least 250 words.