Now a day the surveillance is happening at almost all public places. Is it good or perceived bad by people? What are advantages and disadvantages?

Owing to the advance of technology, surveillance has become more common in most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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public
area
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areas
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to prevent crime and keep the city safe. There are some cons like instrument cost and the privacy problem, and the pros can perceived
bad
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as bad
show examples
by
people
.
First,
cameras which are installed in different public areas are able to prevent crime happen as
a
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an
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advantage. CCTV
usually
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is usually
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set around
entrance
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the entrance
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, exit, cashier,
lift
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and lift
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which
is
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are
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commonly those
thefts
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thieves
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may come across. If there are cameras
got
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apply
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installed in these places, the
theft
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thief
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may
afraid
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be afraid
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of getting
notice
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noticed
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easily. It is easy to
got
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get
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identified by clips so
that
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apply
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they probably would not steal or rob anymore.
Second,
CCTV can increase the sense of security from the citizen.
People
understand they
got
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get
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protecting
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protection
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while
they are walking around. So if there are any bad things
may
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that may
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happen,
people
who
monitoring
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monitor
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the system can react quickly.
Citizen
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Citizens
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can feel safe wherever they are in the city.
On the other hand
, there are disadvantages like the privacy concern. There are a lot of cameras in different public places which means all the
activites
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activities
are
watching
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watched
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by the
secruity
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security
.
People
may
concern
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be concerned
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whether their personal details and routines got monitored for no reason.
Moreover
, the cost of
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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and
instrustions
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instructions
can be huge, the government fund may need to pay a lot for surveillance. In conclusion, surveillance in public places has become very common. It can prevent crime and keep
people
feel
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feeling
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safe in the city.
Although
some disadvantages like the cost and privacy
that
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apply
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can be a problem, I think it
is
Verb problem
can
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able
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
preceived
Correct your spelling
perceived
bad
Change the word
badly
show examples
by
people
.
Submitted by jeffrey24681 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of surveillance. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph clearly addresses one main point with clear supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by using a clear and consistent structure throughout the essay, making sure each point logically follows from the previous one.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good framework for your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of surveillance, which demonstrates a balanced view of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Surveillance
  • Security
  • Crime prevention
  • Footage
  • Public safety
  • Privacy concerns
  • Consent
  • Distrust
  • Behaviour
  • Data management
  • Data breaches
  • Misuse of information
  • Targeting
  • Socio-political tensions
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