Now a day the surveillance is happening at almost all public places. Is it good or perceived bad by people? What are advantages and disadvantages?
Owing to the advance of technology, surveillance has become more common in most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
public Correct article usage
apply
area
to prevent crime and keep the city safe. There are some cons like instrument cost and the privacy problem, and the pros can perceived Fix the agreement mistake
areas
bad
by Change preposition
as bad
people
.
First,
cameras which are installed in different public areas are able to prevent crime happen as a
advantage. CCTV Change the article
an
usually
set around Add a missing verb
is usually
entrance
, exit, cashier, Correct article usage
the entrance
lift
which Correct word choice
and lift
is
commonly those Correct subject-verb agreement
are
thefts
may come across. If there are cameras Correct your spelling
thieves
got
installed in these places, the Verb problem
apply
theft
may Correct your spelling
thief
afraid
of getting Add a missing verb
be afraid
notice
easily. It is easy to Change the form of the verb
noticed
got
identified by clips so Wrong verb form
get
that
they probably would not steal or rob anymore. Correct word choice
apply
Second,
CCTV can increase the sense of security from the citizen. People
understand they got
Wrong verb form
get
protecting
Replace the word
protection
while
they are walking around. So if there are any bad things may
happen, Correct pronoun usage
that may
people
who monitoring
the system can react quickly. Change the form of the verb
monitor
Citizen
can feel safe wherever they are in the city.
Fix the agreement mistake
Citizens
On the other hand
, there are disadvantages like the privacy concern. There are a lot of cameras in different public places which means all the activites
are Correct your spelling
activities
watching
by the Wrong verb form
watched
secruity
. Correct your spelling
security
People
may concern
whether their personal details and routines got monitored for no reason. Wrong verb form
be concerned
Moreover
, the cost of equipments
and Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
instrustions
can be huge, the government fund may need to pay a lot for surveillance.
In conclusion, surveillance in public places has become very common. It can prevent crime and keep Correct your spelling
instructions
people
feel
safe in the city. Wrong verb form
feeling
Although
some disadvantages like the cost and privacy that
can be a problem, I think it Correct pronoun usage
apply
is
able Verb problem
can
to
Verb problem
apply
preceived
Correct your spelling
perceived
bad
by Change the word
badly
people
.Submitted by jeffrey24681 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of surveillance. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph clearly addresses one main point with clear supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by using a clear and consistent structure throughout the essay, making sure each point logically follows from the previous one.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good framework for your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of surveillance, which demonstrates a balanced view of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.