New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of thus trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time #trend

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In recent years modern technologies have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

affected to

spend

Replace the word

spending

show examples

Change preposition

of chilfren's

show examples

chilfren's

Correct your spelling

children's

leisure

time

While

this

statement

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

both benefits and drawbacks, I share the view that it could be

negative

Add an article

a negative

the negative

show examples

impact of today's advancements to spend

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

memorable days. From the first perspective, there are more

advantageous

Replace the word

advantages

show examples

of using modern devices to spend days off at home

both

Change preposition

for both

show examples

children

and parents. The primary reason for

this

could be that gadgets

allows

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allow

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

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students to surf any websites or social networking apps which

boost

Correct subject-verb agreement

boosts

show examples

knowlegde

Correct your spelling

knowledge

about life aspect.

As well as

, many parents

also

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

way to fulfil their own tasks .

In addition

, by surfing devices,

children

can enhance not only

future

Correct pronoun usage

their future

show examples

life but

also

social

communications

Fix the agreement mistake

communication

show examples

with

person

Add an article

a person

show examples

who lives

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apply

show examples

overseas, obviously

children

learn how to socialize

from

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with

show examples

others , especially

for

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apply

show examples

children

who might

Correct your spelling

show examples

shy or introverted in person.

Furthermore

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation would become creative by

entring

Correct your spelling

entering

show examples

platforms like

You tube

Correct your spelling

Youtube

show examples

or coding apps

allow

Correct pronoun usage

that allow

show examples

children

to express their creative

explore

Verb problem

apply

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interests in different fields.

Nevertheless

, using

technologies

Fix the agreement mistake

technology

show examples

in free

time

have

also

negative aspects which could

consider

Wrong verb form

be considered

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

following paragraph.

Firstly

for

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apply

show examples

amny

Correct your spelling

many

any

children

allows

Wrong verb form

are allowed

show examples

to utilize mobile phones or gadgets which influence badly

for

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apply

show examples

human

beings

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beings'

being's

show examples

lifestyle and behaviours mainly

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation, because many

kind

Change to a plural noun

kinds

show examples

oarents

Correct your spelling

parents

do not restrict and have no

time

management to operate gadgets which concern

children

's wel,-being. They

csn

Correct your spelling

can

lose

theur

Correct your spelling

their

eyesight and

npmental

Correct your spelling

mental

subject.

As a result

chikdren

Correct your spelling

children

would become

unintileggent

Correct your spelling

unintelligent

among peers.

Additionally

, they misplay

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social development with humans since spending too much

time

with

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apply

show examples

screens may reduce opportunities for face-to-face interaction which leads to difficulties in

enhansing

Correct your spelling

enhancing

social skills. Over and above , by digital entertainment

children

might prefer staying indoors rather than outside. So they adduct to

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle which could contribute to obesity and other health issues. In conclusion, the

utilize

Replace the word

utilisation

show examples

of modern technologies could be

benefit

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

young people in

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

various aspects .

However

Change the capitalization

show examples

might there are

high

Change the article

a high

the high

show examples

number of negative sides like health issues

as well

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

lack of social

face -to-face

Correct your spelling

face-to-face

show examples

interaction ,

also

decrease

Wrong verb form

decreased

show examples

outdoor

entertaings

Correct your spelling

entertainment

amon

Correct your spelling

among

children

should not be overlooked.

Submitted by Writing9 on Fri Nov 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to plan your essay so each paragraph has a clear main idea, and each point is developed with specific details or examples.

task achievement

Try to refine your thesis statement to clearly state which side you are on, and ensure that all parts of the topic question are addressed thoroughly in your response.

coherence cohesion

Use linking words and phrases (e.g., moreover, however, firstly, consequently) to better connect your ideas within paragraphs and between paragraphs.

introduction conclusion present

You provide a well-rounded introduction and conclusion, which give a broader context to the issues discussed.

task achievement

You recognize both the advantages and disadvantages of technology on children's leisure time, which shows a balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

361 words

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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of thus trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

You were hurt in a minor accident inside a supermarket, and you wish to complain to the supermarket. Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter -say who you are -give details about the accident -suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents

young adults, compared with the of older people. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environmental. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?