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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Computers today can quickly and accurately translate languages; therefore, it is a waste of time to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the advancement of technology has considerably facilitated
the
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apply
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language
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translation
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.
As a result
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, some
people
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 think that learning a foreign
language
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 is useless. In my opinion, I do not agree with
this
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 concept, as I believe that learning a foreign
language
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 can lead to numerous benefits. Being able to speak a foreign
language
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 can convey words with emotions, which is impossible for
digital
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a digital
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translation
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 program to reach. It is true that the online
translation
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 tool is remarkably efficient today.
However
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,
this
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 kind of
mechanic
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mechanical
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translation
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is lack
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lacks
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of
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apply
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natural emotions and can not deliver the real feeling of words.
Moreover
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, using online
translation
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 makes
people
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's
convensation
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conversation
 limited in cool digital
machine
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machines
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, which is not a proper way to build a closer relationship with
people
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to who
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who
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whom
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 we talk to. If
human
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humans
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 only rely on translating
machine
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machines
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 rather than learning languages, the world will be divided and
becoming
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become
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 less connected. Learning foreign languages not only helps us acquire the ability
of communicating
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to communicate
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,
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apply
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 but
also
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broaden
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broadens
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 our perspective internationally.
Firstly
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, learning a foreign
language
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 can steer us to get familiar with the cultural background of a
language
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, which could make
people
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 gain more knowledge from a foreign culture.
For example
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, learning French helps learners to be equipped with a relaxing tone of speaking, as French
people
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 are known for their distinctive
pronounciation
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pronunciation
 and their chill
life style
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lifestyle
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. From my perspective, learning a foreign
language
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 is an amazing tool which enables me to see the world with a wider view. I have made lots of foreign friends by employing my
English speaking
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English-speaking
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 skills, and I believe that
this
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 achievement can not be obtained with only the aid of
online
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an online
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 translator. In conclusion,
although
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 the
translation
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 programs are undoubtedly powerful, they can not make a deeper connection with foreigners as the words they translate do not impart emotions.
Also
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, learning a foreign
language
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 enriches our lives with different
culture
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cultural
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influence
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influences
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 and makes us expand our social circle
more
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apply
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worldwidly
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worldwide
.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples or statistics to support your points, as this can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring grammatical accuracy and varied sentence structures throughout your essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by presenting a clear opinion on the subject.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, helping readers follow the argument easily.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion clearly state the main position, providing a strong framework for the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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