Some people think that competition at work, at school, and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many believe that
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
environment leads
positive
Change preposition
to positive
show examples
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
in life whether it is on levels of school, workspace,
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
daily routine.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
show examples
argue that
cooperation
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
good results. I tend to believe that
cooperation
plays a positive role
to achieve
Change preposition
in achieving
show examples
a goal in life, which will be discussed
further
.
Cooperation
is a good way of learning something new and achieving targets. In the first place, cooperative behaviour in schools brings the power of discussion among pupils. In
such
a way, they learn
behvioural
Correct your spelling
behavioural
manners, which
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
show examples
negotiation manners, discussion about any task,
Correct word choice
and improve
show examples
improve
Wrong verb form
improved
show examples
patience level among them. Even, at work, when
people
are given
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a task to perform
then
they may bring improved results by doing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
teamwork and assisting each other.
Likewise
, in the daily routine,
cooperation
leads
people
to speak politely, which can be significant in discussing and solving any critical situation.
In addition
to
this
, when children learn
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
cooperative environment
then
they release positive energy around them, particularly when they are sitting in a group. It is widely acknowledged that at the workplace employees highly seek competition;
however
, if they are entertained to work in a collaborative manner
then
they become a good team to flourish their performances. In the same way,
people
learn to
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
difficult
Change preposition
to difficult
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
psoitively
Correct your spelling
positively
and they have enough tendency to resolve
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
by discussion.
On the contrary
, competition is
also
considered a good element to
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
show examples
targetted goals in life;
however
, it creates, sometimes, negativity among
people
, which can be detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
others
. Sometimes, competitive
people
do not necessarily pay heed towards
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
emotions to resolve them with patience and produce good
suggestion
Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
show examples
just to achieve their goals only.
Therefore
,
cooperation
helps
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
and can be beneficial for resolving any pressing issue, if faced by
people
. In conclusion,
cooperation
is a positive manner, which helps
people
to behave well, produce good results and bring solutions around them
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
competition only
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
focus on themselves
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
by not paying attention towards
others
.
Submitted by rooha.javed on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Try to structure your essay with clear and distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a central idea that supports your main argument.
coherence
Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reflects on the implications or solutions.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing and relatable.
task achievement
Your essay discusses both views of the topic and includes your opinion, which is important for task response.
coherence
Your writing shows a good attempt to provide a balanced discussion of the views on competition and cooperation.
coherence
You have made a notable effort to link ideas between paragraphs, contributing to the essay's overall cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: