Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement
It is argued that the government should invest a big budget
on
railway projects Change preposition
in
than
roads.
Rephrase
rather than
This
essay agrees with that statement and believes that the
public Correct article usage
apply
train
services are more beneficial as compared to buses and private vehicles. In this
essay
I will Add a comma
essay,
also
provide some examples in favor of my opinion.
First of all, the
Correct article usage
apply
train
travel
is more
cheaper Change the word
apply
then
private buses and vehicles. It is estimated that average expenditures of fuel and bus fares are much higher than the cost of travelling Replace the word
than
through
Change preposition
by
train
. For example
, it costs about 500 USD, when you travel
from Munich to Berlin by a private car or a bus. The same distance can be coverd
within 150 USDCorrect your spelling
covered
,
when you use a Remove the comma
apply
train
service.
Secondly
, people think that travelling by a
Remove the article
apply
train
is more comfortable than other modes of transport, because in trains there are several facilities available all around the world, which make the journey more relaxing. Some of them are,
Remove the comma
apply
Correct article usage
the presence
presence
food courts, Replace the word
present
spaceous
seats and clean washrooms. Because of these reasons, nowadays Correct your spelling
spacious
train
travel
has become a picinic
rather than a Correct your spelling
picnic
travel
only, which every body
Correct your spelling
everybody
want
to enjoy.
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
Finally
, one of the most important advantages of railways is that, it is environment-friendly. For instance
, when public
Correct article usage
the public
use
trains more than buses and private vehicles, Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
this
results in Correct article usage
a reducton
reducton
of pollution in Correct your spelling
reduction
the
urban areas. Correct article usage
apply
For
this
reason, many big cities of the world invest a big budget on the
Correct article usage
apply
trains
services compared to roads to motivate people to use them.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
train
train
travel
has become a prioriy
among people Correct your spelling
priority
due to
its advanatages
like Correct your spelling
advantages
more
relaxing, adventurous and Add a missing verb
being more
healty
. Correct your spelling
healthy
Therefore
, the government should focus on rail services mre
than spending a lot of money on building new road networks.Correct your spelling
more
Submitted by dr.tehreemk on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Ensure grammatical accuracy, especially with comparatives and articles. For instance, "more cheaper" should be "cheaper" and "the train travel" should be "train travel."
spelling
Work on spelling accuracy. Words like "picinic," "healty," and "mre," should be corrected to "picnic," "healthy," and "more," respectively.
content development
Try to elaborate more on some points to add depth. For example, discuss how train development impacts urban planning or reduces traffic congestion.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the cost comparison between travel by train versus private car or bus.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
logical structure
The points are discussed in a logical order, with a strong link between environment-friendly train travel and reduced pollution.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!