It seems that many companies today are becoming much more concerned with profit than with the happiness of workers. How could companies take better care of their workers in the future? Give reasons to your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Recently, many
companies
have focused on the financial level rather than the
happiness
of
employers
. There are various reasons for
this
attitude,
such
as economic pressure, it might be time and budget wasting. In terms of the solutions,
companies
might establish inclusive work environments and provide professional development opportunities. Admittedly, more
companies
today tend to concentrate on production and profit, which mitigate
workers
' satisfaction. Since the world has become a more competitive place,
companies
do not have any chance to allocate their resources to their
workers
.
That is
a reason why they maximize their profits in order to survive
this
place and keep going to
improvement
Replace the word
improve
show examples
. As an example, Temu is one of the e-commerce
companies
, as they work significantly rather than focusing on the desire of
workers
in order to surpass their competitors,
such
as Amazon, and Alibaba.
Furthermore
, more and more CEOs claim that
concerning
Replace the word
concern
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
happiness
of
workers
might not lead to success. With advances in technology, robots can perform their task faster and easier than
workers
;
as a result
, businessmen have a tendency to look at other areas. Regarding the solutions,
companies
would implement some methods in order to improve the satisfaction of the
employers
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
. One of the obvious measures is to introduce flexible hours or a remote job, which not only fosters
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness
but
also
leads to economic growth. If they work with their wish, they become more productive.
Additionally
, they can arrange some events to amuse their
workers
, resulting in a congregation environment where
employers
spend their time with love.
For instance
, participation in a special dinner is able to combine an employer with the workplace, which contributes to a positive attitude toward their colleagues. In conclusion,
while
companies
prefer to focus on profit rather than the
happiness
of
workers
due to
a competitive economy, they are able to foster
satisfaction
Correct article usage
the satisfaction
show examples
of
employers
with more flexible hours and arrangments.
Submitted by ilkin.abdullaev04 on

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task response
Your essay addresses the task well, presenting ideas on why companies focus on profit over employees' happiness and offering solutions, but some points lack depth. Consider expanding on your arguments for stronger support.
task response
Try to ensure that all points introduced are fully developed and explained. Providing more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments would strengthen your task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent. However, some paragraphs could benefit from more logical connectors to improve flow and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by better developing the linkage between paragraphs and ideas within sentences. Using varied linking words can improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, maintaining the focus of the essay effectively.
task response
Your essay illustrates understanding of the topic with relevant examples like Temu, Amazon, and Alibaba, which enhance its task achievement.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employee wellness programs
  • flexible working hours
  • remote work options
  • work-life balance
  • professional development
  • training sessions
  • mentorship programs
  • feedback culture
  • competitive salaries
  • comprehensive health insurance
  • retirement plans
  • paid time off
  • positive workplace culture
  • team-building activities
  • diversity and inclusion
  • job satisfaction
  • financial security
  • mental health days
  • stress management workshops
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