Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in puplic services instead. Do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
government
investment in the
art is a waste of money, and Correct article usage
apply
the
public services are required to be the centre of the Correct your spelling
that
government
attention. I strongly agree with Change noun form
government's
this
view since public services as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
parks
and schools
represent the development standards of countries. This
can be considered as the unit of measuring the advancement of any nation.
Parks
are the centre gathering of families, and they are expected to show the beauty and the creativity of engineers
who construct Correct article usage
the engineers
it
. If various trees and flowers are cultivated in a magnificent way, Correct pronoun usage
them
as
planting flowers in a flag form, visitors and tourists will admire the brilliant minds Correct quantifier usage
such as
which
designed Correct pronoun usage
who
such
a flags
and made Correct the article-noun agreement
a flag
flags
it
out of flowers. Correct pronoun usage
them
Furthermore
, shaving the trees skilfully reflects the gardeners’ creativity in gardening.
In addition
to parks
, well-equipped schools
reflect how much the government
looks after education; this
caring is a unit of assessing any nation and reveal
its degrees of admiration Correct subject-verb agreement
reveals
to
Change preposition
for
learning
process.Add an article
the learning
For instance
, if the government
provided schools
with smart classes and very qualified teachers , the people will
be well educated and contribute Wrong verb form
would
in
improving the country’s economy. Change preposition
to
Besides
, if the government
supports gifted and disable
students and gives them Wrong verb form
disabled
same
levels of concern by allocating special classes to them, creative minds will be born and enhance the level of living of the people in various domains.
In conclusion, many views tend to argue that the Correct article usage
the same
government
should concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
on
public Change preposition
with
service’s
investment rather than looking after art. Personally, I believe that public services should receive the Change noun form
service
government
’s full concentration represented by its caring with parks
and schools
that are considered as images of nations.Submitted by reem.1988 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea, and follows by supporting details and examples that directly relate to the topic. Currently, the examples provided, such as planting flowers in the shape of a flag, can be more directly linked to government investment comparisons.
task achievement
Ensure that every point of view expressed is logically developed and supported by clear reasons and examples. For instance, the link between smart classes and economic improvement could be more thoroughly explained.
task achievement
Consider explaining the opposing view in the essay to enhance balance in the argumentation and demonstrate understanding of the task. Discuss why some believe arts should receive investment or provide rebuttals to such arguments.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the necessity for government investment in public services rather than the arts.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion that frame the argument well.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical ordering of ideas that guide the reader through the writer’s main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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