IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people prefer to live in rented homes rather than purchasing their own homes. Do you think advantages of living in rented house outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #homes #house
In
this
 present world, people have plenty of choices whether they want to purchase their own
house
 or
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 to live in
rented
Add an article
a rented
the rented
show examples
home
. I believe that renting
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
 has more advantages rather than buying their own
due to
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 explained in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, the pros of having a
house
 on rent.
Firstly
, it provides people with
flexibility
Add an article
the flexibility
show examples
 to change their
house
 whenever they want
due to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 any reason without having the hassle of selling a
home
. So, renting is
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for those individuals who
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 in
company
Add an article
a company
show examples
 where they have a need to change their
home
 from time to time.
For instance
, my uncle is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
employe
Correct your spelling
employee
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
one
 of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 renowned
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 but he has to move from
one
 place to another because of his work,
as a result
, buying
property
 in
one
 place
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not give him benefits because of mobility in his job.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, renting often requires a smaller financial commitment compared to buying, which
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
show examples
 payments,
property
 taxes and maintenance costs.
Also
, when a person lives in a rented flat,
landlord
Add an article
the landlord
a landlord
show examples
 is the only
one
 responsible for any repair and maintenance of
teh
Correct your spelling
the
house
 which helps a lot
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 curbing the tenant's burden and expenses in
this
 area.
However
, apart from the advantages, renting a
home
 has some disadvantages too
such
 as lack of investment because renting does not build equity in the
property
, meaning renters do not
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
show examples
 from
property
 value and appreciation.
For example
, it has been recorded that the price of houses
had been
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 increased by 45%
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 five years.
Thus
,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 value of
property
 is
also
 equal to
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an individual
pay
Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
show examples
.
To conclude
,
although
 buying a
house
 provides you with a sense of security and stability in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
, renting is
Correct your spelling
beneficial
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for those who
loves
Change the verb form
love
show examples
 to explore
another places
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
show examples
 and for those who have jobs which
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
show examples
 mobility
Submitted by k7jassu on

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task achievement
In the body paragraphs, ensure that each supporting point is consistently followed by specific examples or evidence to back it up. Expanding on examples can make your arguments even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Try to refine your transitions between paragraphs to enhance flow. This will help maintain the reader's focus and guide them smoothly from one point to the next.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your argument effectively. The essay begins and ends with a structured approach.
logical structure
Your essay contains a logical progression of ideas, moving from advantages of renting a home to discussing its disadvantages.
relevant specific examples
The use of personal anecdotes, such as the example of your uncle, effectively demonstrates real-life relevance to your points.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Relocate
  • Upfront financial commitment
  • Down payments
  • Property taxes
  • Maintenance costs
  • Equity
  • Property value appreciation
  • Restrictions
  • Personal ownership
  • Stability
  • Long-term security
  • Rent increases
  • Lease terminations
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