IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that children sgphould begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age.

#people #children #sgphould #education #age #years
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Many individuals are of the opinion that
youngstres
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youngsters
 should start their
standarzided
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standardized
standardised
education
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
a formative
Correct the article-noun agreement
a formative year
formative years
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
 others believe they should start their
education
Use synonyms
 once
ghey
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they
 are older
tahn
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than
 7
years
Use synonyms
. In my mind,
children
Use synonyms
 should start their
education
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 earlier, so
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 provide balanced analyses with the
guven
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given
 statement. On the one hand, supporters of delayed formal
education
Use synonyms
 could be more
benefical
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beneficial
 for
children
Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
owing to the fact that before passing
school
Use synonyms
 , they
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 mature and can have might about anything which
related
Add a missing verb
is related
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
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. First and foremost,
Use synonyms
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 have a chance to avoid
burnount
Correct your spelling
burnout
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 at
school
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 because many
unmature
Correct your spelling
immature
unmatured
children
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 go to study but during subjects ,
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 can sleep or can not comprehend the meaning of
life
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, starting after 7
years
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 ,
students
Use synonyms
 can boost their own relationship with parents because spending time with
closes
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close
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to grow strong
emotion
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emotions
show examples
 and responsibility.
In addition
Linking Words
, delayed
education
Use synonyms
 allows
children
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 to explore their interests and build curiosity
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 play and exploration , leading to innovative thinking. As an illustration, Countries like
Finland's
Change noun form
Finland
show examples
, where
children
Use synonyms
 begin
school
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 at 7 , have shown high
sucess
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success
 rates rather
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 who started early
years
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Traditional schooling would be more helpful for both
children
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 and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
Firtly
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Firstly
, when
students
Use synonyms
started
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
education
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 under 7 , they find
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
more difficult but after time they can enhance skills like social interaction, group -working or cognitive development namely economic success. So
students
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who
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whom
show examples
6
Add a missing verb
are 6
show examples
ages can develop essential
life
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 aspects
such
Linking Words
 as
problem -solving
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problem-solving
show examples
, critical thinking , and language acquisition
as well as
Linking Words
 young
generation
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generation's
show examples
 brain is highly adaptable to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 concepts like literacy and numeracy.
Additionally
Linking Words
, more
attitudional
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attitudinal
children
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ehance
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enhance
 economic
fileds
Correct your spelling
fields
 because they create new innovative
presrpives
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preserves
 which learned earlier at
school
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 . It
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to make a chance of
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
life
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.  In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, even though formal
education
Use synonyms
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 of 7
helpful
Add a missing verb
is helpful
show examples
 to be
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 responsible person and natural development ,
however
Linking Words
 my personal view
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
earlier
education
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 because
children
Use synonyms
cold
Correct your spelling
could
show examples
 have a headspace and would have intensive
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
cognitive development.
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task response
To enhance your task response, ensure that your argument supports your position throughout the essay, maintaining consistency between your introduction and conclusion.
coherence
To improve coherence, organize your ideas more clearly where each paragraph should have a clear main idea that supports your overall view.
task response
The essay includes both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on when children should start their education.
coherence
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, structuring the overall argument well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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