IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The bar chart shows the average prices of per kilometre of clothing imported into the European Union from six different countries in 1993 and 2003.

The bar chart shows the average prices of per kilometre of clothing imported into the European Union from six different countries in 1993 and 2003.
#bar #prices #kilometre #european #union #six #countries
The given line graph demonstrates data on how much
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per
kilometr
Correct your spelling
kilometre
 of clothing
imported
Add a missing verb
was imported
show examples
 from six countries to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe between 1993 and 2003 years.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of
kilometr
Fix the agreement mistake
kilometrs
show examples
 of clothing
import
Wrong verb form
imported
show examples
 from Argentina to Europe was dominant during the provided decade, but
this
 figure for Brazil was
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the next
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
list
Correct article usage
the list
show examples
 in
this
 period.
In addition
, statistics of Bangladesh became
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less popular by 2003. As regards
average
Add an article
the average
show examples
 price of clothing
import
Wrong verb form
imported
show examples
 from Argentina, that
of was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
started dominant at 28 000 000 in 1993;
however
this
trend
 declined slightly by 4 000 000 in the next 10 years.
Besides
,
this
trend
 in Brazil was in the next list of the chart, but during 10 years,
this
 figure remained unchanged at 23 000 000.
Moreover
,
statistics
Correct article usage
the statistics
show examples
 of Bangladesh experienced rose considerably from 4
million
 to 6
million
 from 1993 to 2003;
however
,
this
 figure became
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less popular by 2003. Turning to
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of distance of clothing around 3 countries Japan, China and India nearly the same. To be more precise, statistics of China was dominant at 17 000 000 around other two countries by 2003.
Conversely
,
this
trend
 in Japan and India
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 the same at 14
million
 and 13
million
 in the end time span.
Additionally
, the diagram of Japan was dominant around two cities in 1993, but
this
trend
 in India hit
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 lowest point
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 year. Surprisingly,
this
trend
 in China started in the next list of the chart than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two cities.
Submitted by Who is the best? on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words trend, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: