The provided bar chart depicts the changes in the percentage of overweight males and females in Australia over a thirty-year period, from 1980 to 2010.

#bar #changes #percentage #males #females #australia #period

The given chart illustrates the percentage of genders who were

obesity

Replace the word

obese

show examples

in Australia between 1980 and 2010.

Overall

, it is clearly seen that the percentage of men and women experienced an upward trend. In detail, the proportion of men's overweight was started at 40%

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and increased significantly to just under 50%.

Then

the figure climbed steeply to 65%

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and decreased slightly to 61% in the final year. Turning to the figure for women,it started at 32% in 1980.The percentage

rise

Wrong verb form

rose

show examples

considerably to 45%,and

escalate

Wrong verb form

escalated

show examples

steadily to 53% in 2000.After that, the figure

maintain

Change the verb form

maintains

show examples

the same level over the next decade.

Submitted by yskim3064 on Sat Nov 16 2024

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

98 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The provided bar chart depicts the changes in the percentage of overweight males and females in Australia over a thirty-year period, from 1980 to 2010.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for people to take risks, both in their Professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Tourism is one of thw fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

Some people think that you can only learn about the cultures of different places by traveling there. Other people think that you can learn just as much about these places from reading books and watching travel documentaries about them. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.