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Writing Samples
Band 5

the charts below shows the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990 . write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. you should

the charts below shows the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990 . write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. you should
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The bar charts illustrate the levels of engagement in educational and scientific activities in both developing and industrialized
nations
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, the industrialized
nations
Use synonyms
 were higher
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 every level, from schooling to science, even research and development.
First,
Linking Words
on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, the average
years
Use synonyms
 of education in 1980 for developing countries were approximately 3
years
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it increased in 1990 to become around 4
years
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the industrialized countries in 1980 rose by 8
years
Use synonyms
 and in 1990 rose by 10
years
Use synonyms
.
Second,
Linking Words
the level of science in developing
nations
Use synonyms
 in both periods is less than 20.
However
Linking Words
, the industrialized
nations
Use synonyms
 were above 40 in both
years
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the developing side spent less than 100 billion dollars on research and development in 1980 and 1990.
However
Linking Words
, the other
nations
Use synonyms
 were spending more; the cost was 150 billion in 1980 and in 1990 grew to 350 billion dollars.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words nations, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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