Statement: Some people prefer to develop a large social circle, whereas others prefer to have a few close relationships. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Humans are social creatures. Social circles are needed to adapt to the social
environment
. Every person cannot be separated from the social environment
.
The social environment
can be classified into two parts, such
as
the large social Change preposition
apply
circle
and the small social circle
which has a few close community
. Some Change to a plural noun
communities
people
prefer to develop a large social circle
, and others prefer to have a few close relationships
.
In my opinion, both, large
social Correct article usage
a large
circle
or
Correct word choice
and
small
social Correct article usage
a small
circle
is
not wrong. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
People
choose large
social Correct article usage
a large
circle
or small
social Correct article usage
a small
circle
, it depends on the situation and conditions, such
as people
's character, comfortable
, their daily Replace the word
comfort
environment
, desire to develop, life needs, etc.
Some people
were born and developed in a big family with large
social Correct article usage
a large
circle
, and they should developed
a large social Change the verb form
develop
circle
based on their character building and their daily environment
. They would be comfortable with the large social circle
, have
many friends and activities. They were born, grew up, and survived in a large social Correct word choice
and have
circle
.
However
, some people
prefer to have a few close relationships
in a small circle
, because they were born and developed in a small family with small
social Correct article usage
a small
circle
. They should be more comfortable to have a few close relationships
than large social circle
with large Fix the agreement mistake
circles
relationship
. They feel a deep feeling with small circles and can share anything with Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
the
few close Correct article usage
a
relationships
privately. They were born, grew up, and survived in a small social circle
with close relationships
.
The conclusion, both, large or
small social Correct word choice
and
circle
Fix the agreement mistake
circles
depends
on Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
people
's character building. They can choose the social circle
based on their life needs, and they must feel comfortable with the social circle
.Submitted by imeldarosari6 on
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Aim to enhance logical structure by ensuring ideas flow smoothly from one to another. Use more linking words and phrases to strengthen cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well and demonstrate a coherent overall response to the prompt.
task achievement
The essay offers a balanced discussion of both views, which shows a good understanding of the topic and contributes to a relatively complete response to the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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