Some countries encourage foreign companies to open a branch office in their country. Many people think that the government should focus on encouraging local businesses to expand rather than inviting foreign businesses to open branches. To what extent do you agree?

Over the
last
decades,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of prominent companies have
luanched
Correct your spelling
launched
their branch throughout the world,
while
some countries appreciate these offices and
Add a missing verb
are eagers
show examples
eagers
Fix the agreement mistake
eager
show examples
to develop these chain
office
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offices
show examples
in their nations, a large number of people believe, the government should allocate to the small local business to expand
instead
of bring that company into their societies. I
partialy
Correct your spelling
partially
agree with
this
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
idea,
in
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will examine both views. Let's begin by looking at the benefits of foreign companies, despite these
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
show examples
of
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
which can negative
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
on
a small ones
Correct the article-noun agreement
small ones
a small one
show examples
,
however
, societies would take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
job
opportunitly
Correct your spelling
opportunities
which they offer to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
,
thus
, the rate of the unemployed would be decreased notably.
for instance
, it is
undeniable
Correct article usage
an undeniable
show examples
fact that
well kown
Correct your spelling
well-known
chain restaurants like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Macdonald's have been ruining a lot of the
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
show examples
tiny cafe restaurants or even cause of going out some
startup
Fix the agreement mistake
startups
show examples
,
nevertheless
, they have been hiring
huge
Change the article
a huge
the huge
show examples
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
of individuals who were
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
unemployed. Turning to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
side of
argument
Add an article
the argument
an argument
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, there is widespread concern about
how
Correct word choice
what
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should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
young people who want to set up their own careers do
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
Most of them
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are not inclined to work for other ones, they are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
creative,
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
active. there are some
publication
Fix the agreement mistake
publications
show examples
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
shown that unfortunately, higher than 90% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
startups go bankrupt in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
years and
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
predicted we will not have tiny careers in
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
future, so
whole
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the whole
show examples
market be taken over by prominent's ones. All things considered,
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
views have positive and negative aspects, from my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
we can take into account both different ideas but, the governments and council should pass a law urgently to confine the
expantion
Correct your spelling
expansion
of these issues.
Submitted by mahyarnaseri on

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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should address a single main idea and connect back to your thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Make your introduction clearer by briefly mentioning both views and stating your opinion more explicitly. Try to summarize your conclusion to align better with your introduction.
task achievement
Avoid grammatical errors by expanding simple sentences where necessary and varying your sentence structures.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view by discussing both the advantages of foreign investment and the importance of local businesses.
task achievement
You included some relevant examples, like the influence of McDonald's on local cafes, which supports your arguments well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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