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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The maps illustrate the plan of a public
park
 and what it was like in 1920 and nowadays.
Overall
, the public
park
 has two entrances, one from the north
side
 on Arnold Avenue, and
while
 other from the south
side
 on Eldon Street. There are many changes that happened,
however
, the rose
garden
 on the north
side
 next to the first entrance remains the same.
To begin
 with the center of the
park
 there was a fountain which has now
replaced
Add a missing verb
been replaced
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 with a new rose
garden
, and all the seats in the corners were removed and relocated around the new rose
garden
 that you can find in the middle of the
park
 when you enter the
park
. Another rose
garden
 in the southwest of the
park
 was demolished completely,
while
 on the west there was a stage for musicians converted into
Add an article
the amphitheater
an amphitheater
show examples
amphitheater
Change the spelling
amphitheatre
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 for concerts.
Following
this
, on the right
side
 from the north of the
park
Add a comma
park,
show examples
 a rose
garden
 and pond for water plants were removed and constructed a new cafe and area for children to play. On the southeast, a class house converted into a water feature is next to a third new entrance for people who come from the underground car
park
.
Submitted by ghazl.1998g on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Provide a summary or concluding sentence to wrap up your description effectively.
task achievement
When describing changes, use clear and detailed comparisons to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Try to include all significant features and changes to provide a complete response.
task achievement
You accurately identified and described the main features of the public park from 1920 and today.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is logical with clear distinctions between paragraphs highlighting different areas and changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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