it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages?
In everyday life, we are facing various situations where we have to choose and act in a certain way. Many
people
come across opportunities and have to risk something in order to reach their Use synonyms
goal
. Fix the agreement mistake
goals
Although
there are drawbacks Linking Words
in
taking Change preposition
to
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
but
I believe that the advantages Remove the conjunction
apply
is
far greater than the disadvantages.
Some Change the verb form
are
people
are afraid to take Use synonyms
risk
to avoid the feeling of failure and disappointment. Fix the agreement mistake
risks
For example
, some Linking Words
people
stay in a job they hate but to let it go and find something is a daunting thought. Use synonyms
Start
something new, Wrong verb form
Starting
such
Linking Words
us
starting Correct your spelling
as
business
could lead Correct article usage
a business
into
financial problems if it’s not working. I think it could be avoided by making a really Change preposition
to
well
business plan and Correct word choice
good
have
a way out if the business failed.
Wrong verb form
having
On the other hand
, many Linking Words
people
who Use synonyms
success
in their personal lives and professional lives are Replace the word
succeed
people
who Use synonyms
is
not afraid to take risks. Some Change the verb form
are
people
even have to experience many failures in life until at one point they Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
successfully
reaching
their dreams. Wrong verb form
reach
For instance
, a successful artist, Linking Words
instead
of getting a normal job and Linking Words
has
Wrong verb form
having
a
financial stability Remove the article
apply
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
choose
to stay Correct subject-verb agreement
chooses
in
Change preposition
on
path
even though it is taking years to get to where they want. Correct article usage
the path
Other example
,Change the wording
Another example
Other examples
a
professional engineer in a rural area Add a missing verb
is a
has
to leave families behind in order to work Correct pronoun usage
who has
in
a good company in the city.
In conclusion, the advantages of taking risks are leading to career advancement and changing a bad situation to a better one, Change preposition
for
although
the disadvantages Linking Words
such
as failure and disappointment always present, Linking Words
but
organizing Correct word choice
apply
such
a situation and having Linking Words
plan
B helps to avoid failure and disappointment.Correct article usage
a plan
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advice main points
Consider elaborating more on your main ideas with additional examples or explanations to fully develop your arguments. The ideas are generally clear but need more depth for higher clarity. For instance, you could further explore why some people might fear taking risks and how successful people managed their risks specifically.
advice grammar
Work on avoiding grammatical inaccuracies such as subject-verb agreement errors and singular/plural forms. For example, saying 'Many people who success' should be 'Many people who succeed.'
highlight introduction
The introduction effectively outlines the main theme and opinion, preparing the reader for the discussion ahead.
highlight conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a closing perspective, enhancing the overall coherence of your essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite