IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Mnay countries want to host international sports events, while others think it as problematic

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It is undeniable that hosting an international sports event provides
the
Correct article usage
a
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 feeling of pride to the nation,
while
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 others consider that it is more problematic than being beneficial.
This
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 essay will analyse both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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viewpoints including my opinion in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, there are several merits of organizing
an events
Correct the article-noun agreement
events
an event
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.
Firstly
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, it aims to boost the international
recognization
Correct your spelling
recognition
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 of the
country
Use synonyms
 in front of others which helps to increase tourism. Since many people come to know about
event
Add an article
the event
an event
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then
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 they
definitly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 become
curios
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curious
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to visit
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about visiting
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 particular
country
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 and that not only
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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benefit
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benefits
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to
Change preposition
apply
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hottels
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hotels
 but
also
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 to the
government
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.
For example
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, In Brazil,
number
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the number
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 of tourists increased by 45% after the
last
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 games organized there.
Moreover
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, it
also
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 aids in developing
infrastructure
Correct article usage
the infrastructure
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 of the
country
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 because it is necessary to provide comfortable living space to visitors who come to watch
match
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matches
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, so
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 surely build new buildings, roads and stadiums.
Also
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, it
provide
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provides
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 individuals with job opportunities when new structures are planned to be created.
Therefore
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, it
give
Change the verb form
gives
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 rise to the economy of the nation.
On the other hand
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, hosting sports
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 some demerits too.
Initially
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, it diverted
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government's
Correct article usage
the government's
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 attention to sports only from other facilities needed in
Use synonyms
Add an article
a country
the country
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country
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countries
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such
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 as healthcare, and
eduction
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education
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 which
leave
Wrong verb form
left
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 citizens
to suffer
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suffering
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 from problems even related to basic
amenties
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amenities
.
Firthermore
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Furthermore
, creating new infrastructure
put
Wrong verb form
puts
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 pressure on
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 to spend
thefty
Correct article usage
a thefty
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 amount of money which
put
Verb problem
has
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 huge consequences
to
Change preposition
for
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Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
a country
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 in
longer
Correct word choice
the long
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terms
Fix the agreement mistake
term
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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 being a host costs a lot to the
country
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, it helps to improve career opportunities and well as tourism in the nation.

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task achievement
Ensure the essay addresses all parts of the task clearly and responds to the question more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between your points. For example, ensure your ideas transition smoothly from one to another.
task achievement
Focus on providing specific and relevant examples that are more detailed or varied to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion which sum up the main points effectively.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the Brazil tourism boost, which helps strengthen your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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