It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?
It is undeniable that with the advancement in technology, it become feasible to gain knowledge about any other
country
,
Remove the comma
apply
while
setting
at your home. Correct your spelling
sitting
However
, some people consider travelling as an important part of their learning. I fully agree with this
notion due to
the reasons explained in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, there are several reasons that
why travel is not necessary for collecting information about any Correct word choice
apply
country
. Firstly
, it help
people in saving their Change the verb form
helps
time
because books provide them with the flexibility that they can access them
at any Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
and gives
them data related to the nation even without visiting a place. Correct subject-verb agreement
give
Moreover
, watching movies about the country
provides people with great insights regarding their eating habits, culture, and clothing which saves them a hefty amount of money
as it is so true that going to any country
requires you a lot of things such
as visa
, Correct article usage
a visa
money
, and ticket and that costs a lot. However
, for an average earner
it is so hard to spend that much. Add a comma
earner,
Therefore
, reading and films are best
Change the article
the best
source
for getting information without spending your Change the noun form
sources
money
and time
on them.
Furthermore
, apart from all that it allow
individuals to explore different traditions from the comfort of their homesChange the verb form
allows
,
since digital media become so advanced that we can go through Remove the comma
apply
wide
range of content Add an article
a wide
the wide
while
staying at home. Additionally
, documentaries, online courses, and virtual tours are so informative as well as
cost-effective. On the other hand
, experiencing a
culture via travel can lead to personal growth and a more meaningful understanding of subtleties. Remove the article
apply
However
, it still costs a fortune to the middle class
person. Add a hyphen
middle-class
For example
, my aunt was the one Correct pronoun usage
who love
love
travelling, she was so fond of it that she did not even care Replace the word
loved
that
how much was she spending. Correct word choice
apply
As a result
, she end up getting loan
now even for basic amenities.
Add an article
a loan
To conclude
, although
exploring a country
gives you proper data regarding a place, learning about that on Internet
is more Add an article
the Internet
time
and money saving
.Add a hyphen
money-saving
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task response
Try to maintain a more balanced discussion by acknowledging the benefits of traveling to experience cultures directly.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence.
task response
Ensure all examples are directly relevant and specific to the points being made.
task response
The essay provides a clear stance from the beginning and maintains this throughout the text, effectively discussing the advantages of using technology to learn about culture.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, providing structure and clarity to the response.
task response
The point about the cost-saving benefits of learning remotely is well-articulated, offering specific practical reasoning.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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