In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, talking about different transportation facilities is a
trend
subject. Some people argue that the Change the verb form
trending
government
should spend more money on the Use synonyms
expanding
of the railway lines, Replace the word
expansion
while
another group believe that Linking Words
this
money should be spent on improving public Linking Words
Use synonyms
transportations
. In Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
this
essay, I will look at Linking Words
both
views and propose my own opinion.
Let’s start by looking at the first group. Some people are Use synonyms
fan
of the stable Fix the agreement mistake
fans
traveling
by Change the spelling
travelling
train
and they believe Use synonyms
Use synonyms
government
should add more railway lines. They say that it would be great if they could travel to every destination on a Correct article usage
the government
train
. Use synonyms
By
Change preposition
Of
this
, a considerable drop would happen in buying Linking Words
airplane
thickets. Change the spelling
aeroplane
Furthermore
, Linking Words
traveling
by Change the spelling
travelling
train
is more interesting as you can enjoy the scenery Use synonyms
while
you are sitting in your wagon.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, some have Linking Words
this
belief that public Linking Words
transportations
need some improvements. Take old buses as an example. They argue that Use synonyms
Use synonyms
government
should change these vehicles with new ones to Correct article usage
the government
pretend
future complications. Verb problem
prevent
Moreover
, people who are using Linking Words
these kind
of Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
Use synonyms
transportations
will feel safe and Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
as a consequence
, more citizens will use them.
All things considered, providing good transportation facilities is one of the most important responsibilities of the Linking Words
government
. SoUse synonyms
that
, they should decide where to spend their budget. In my opinion, I think it is better to take Correct determiner usage
apply
both
issues into consideration. What I mean is that they should spend money on Use synonyms
both
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
train
industry and public Correct article usage
the train
Use synonyms
transportations
as Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
both
of them are Use synonyms
so
importantRephrase
very
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your points when discussing each perspective. Specific cases or studies would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay maintains clear and logical transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the logical structure of your response.
coherence cohesion
There is some repetition in the phrases used. Consider diversifying your vocabulary and expressions for better coherence and to keep the reader engaged.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion on the topic.
task achievement
You expressed a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument and providing your own opinion, which completes the task requirements.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example