IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 and 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reportin the main features, making comparisions where relevant

The graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 and 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reportin the main features, making comparisions where relevant
#proportion #four #materials #country #summarise #information #reportin #features #comparisions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates the percentages of four recycled materials
consists
Wrong verb form
consisting
show examples
 of paper & cardboard, glass containers, aluminium cans and plastics that were recycled between 1982 and 2010.
Overall
, paper & cardboard and glass containers were two types of stuff that started recycling in the first year
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
given.
whereas
 aluminium cans started reprocessed in 1986 and other plastics in 1990. The percentages of recycled paper & cardboard
were fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
have fluctuated
show examples
 sharply, it began
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 65
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1982 and reached to peak at 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1994 before
declined
Change the form of the verb
declining
show examples
 to 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 year.
Likewise
, glass containers were unstable dramatically,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 started at 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 year given and dipped
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the lowest point at 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1990 after that
climbed
Wrong verb form
climbing
show examples
 to the highest point
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the
last
 ten years of
chart
Correct article usage
the chart
show examples
 duration.
On the other hand
, aluminium cans that initiated
reprocessed
Wrong verb form
reprocessing
show examples
 in 1986
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased substantially to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak in 2010
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 45
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same as plastics that began
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 3
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 were slightly increased to the highest point
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
at the end
 of
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
 timeline.
Submitted by peeranat.phum on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: