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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some scientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings, while others see this as a positive development, others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#scientists #future #computers #beings #development #consequences
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While
Linking Words
 technological inventions are developing and becoming an integral part of our lives, some
people
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 are positive about the probability of
computers
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 becoming smarter than
a
Correct article usage
apply
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human
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humans
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, and others,
on the contrary
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, consider that it will lead to adverse consequences. From my perspective, I mostly agree with the former statement. Some are of the opinion that highly intelligent machines will become the great result of eventual technological development, as those can help
people
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 to save
their
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apply
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time by delegating most of the monotonous tasks to
computers
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.
For example
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, computer programs with artificial intelligence will help doctors to analyse medical data
such
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 as X-ray pictures, biochemical analyses and
other
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others
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.
Moreover
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,
this
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 technology will exclude the
human-factor
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human factor
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 aspect and the errors which are caused by it.
In contrast
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, there are manifold doubts and worries connected to
rising
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the rising
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 machine’s intelligence. Some
people
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 consider that various
computers
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 and automated mechanisms with AI will replace
people
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. Even today
this
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 problem can be noticed in terms of the work market. More and more
people
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 lose their jobs, because companies choose machines that are able to perform some functions with the same efficiency as a person or even higher one.
Furthermore
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, there is a belief that
computers
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 will fill nearly all the niches of the economy in the near future. In conclusion,
although
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 scientists cannot predict the future of technological development and
possible
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its possible
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 consequences
of
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apply
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it
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apply
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, which might be terrifying and fateful, highly sophisticated computer technologies will help
people
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 and make our lives more convenient by completing numerous complex tasks. From my point of view, on
balance
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balance,
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 smarter
computers
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 are a great tool, which contribute directly to upgrading the quality of life in the future.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

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task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully explained and expanded upon to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You provided examples, but try to incorporate more varied and specific ones to strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your sentences for better variety and complexity to improve overall fluency.
task achievement
The essay effectively contrasts two perspectives on the topic and clearly states the author’s opinion.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced, and transitions between points are smooth and effective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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