Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed,rather than work for a company or organisations. Why might this be the case? What could be disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organisations #be #case

Nowadays the trend of being self-employed has increased its popularity in society, indicating that

less

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fewer

show examples

people

want to be employed by a company or

organisations

Fix the agreement mistake

organisation

show examples

. The reasons for

this

phenomenon could be related to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology

and the change

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show examples

humans' insights toward work. Meanwhile, there are some potential drawbacks that we should take into consideration. The main drivers of the self-employed tendency result from the

advencement

Correct your spelling

advancement

technology

and the emphasis on work-life

balance

The

Correct article usage

Technology

show examples

technology

has significantly facilitated the tasks of work today.

For example

Youtuber

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

, a new appealing job, is the pioneer of being self-employed. They make videos

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show examples

their own devices and expand their ideas

independantly

Correct your spelling

independently

Moreover

, some of them have

gain

Wrong verb form

gained

show examples

lots of profit and become celebrities today.

Therefore

, if everyone can employ the

technology

properly and wisely, they can all make themselves a boss.

In addition

people

start to focus on the concept of work-life

balance

, as they realize that the most efficient way to maintain a sustainable life is to take good care of their mental health. In the increasingly competitive working market today,

people

often suffer from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stress from work, and that

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

driven

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

depression.

As a result

, more individuals prefer being self-oriented, as they can manage to keep a good

balance

between

Correct pronoun usage

their job

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

and personal

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

However

, there are some demerits of

this

trend that we should not neglect.

Firstly

, being self-employed could be an unstable job because it lacks a solid structure like corporations.

For example

, being solo in a career needs to bear all the accountabilities on oneself, and face all the upcoming challenges individually.

Thus

this

fact enhances the likelihood of failure.

Furthermore

, a scarcity of teamwork steers

people

into a sense of loneliness, as they do not have

collegues

Correct your spelling

colleagues

to share

the

Change the word

their

show examples

opinions. Once it comes to the decision-making, they would be at stake since they cannot reach for help from

collegues

Correct your spelling

colleagues

Besides

that, some companies or organizations offer

the

Correct article usage

show examples

pension for retired

workers

, which is a benefit that

self- employed

Correct your spelling

self-employed

show examples

workers

cannot receive.

Consequently

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life after retirement will be notably difficult for those solo

workers

. In

conculsion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, the reasons why

people

pursue being self-employed are associated with the convenience and high productivity of the

technology

and

also

the humans' priority toward work-life

balance

. Meanwhile,

this

tendency may put solo

workers

Change preposition

show examples

risk as they need to

burden

Verb problem

bear

show examples

all the responsibilities, and at the same time, be the sole decision-makers, which can lead their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

to failure.

Also

, a future without

pension

Add an article

a pension

show examples

would be vital for their sustainability of lives.

Submitted by a0979181071 on Sun Nov 17 2024

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Language Use

Work on refining sentence structures for clarity, especially in the third and fourth paragraphs.

Task Response

Try to elaborate more on the negative aspects and give specific examples for better depth.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve paragraph transitions to enhance the natural flow of ideas.

Task Response

The essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both reasons for the trend of self-employment and its disadvantages.

Task Response

Shows an understanding of current societal trends related to technology and work-life balance.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and effectively frame the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

426 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed,rather than work for a company or organisations. Why might this be the case? What could be disadvantages of being self-employed?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is a waste of money to establish libraries since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information, do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others believe that people should be free to do any sports or activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+